The DisUnited State(s) of America
OooOOh saaay can you see? “I don’t see color.” I DO. I am not colorblind! I see it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I see it when I’m getting dressed, deciding my hair dye, deciding what shoes I’ll wear, make-up and even when I see YOU. I see YOUR color. I am NOT colorblind at any other point of my day. When I meet you I do not MAGICALLY become colorblind. Stop it. This is not an intelligent statement. It’s operational delusional ignorance. Your ability to see does NOT make you racist. What makes one racist is that intentional focused deafness and willing blindness to look at these instances of brutal, unhinged, and unprovoked targeted assaults on people BECAUSE of their skin color. Black People specifically.
Blacks do not have the luxuried privilege of *forgetting our skin color because we are reminded every time we are forced to endure the “hall pass method” it is a constant reminder that we have to be “checked out” before we can “pass” or be “checked in.” We can NOT forget because it is top of mind for racist mindsets. WE ARE TIRED. Blacks are TIRED of racist encounters in America. We are TIRED of racist fueled systems, communities, organizations and individuals who KNOW that nothing or may be a slap on the wrist in the event of the unrighteous murder of Blacks. We ARE TIRED of this DISunited States of America! Tired. I have been personally drained since I read this story. I did not want to forward it to Black men because of past conversations about the depth of worry and anxiety they experience daily for carrying out regular tasks i.e., working, running, swimming, shopping, even driving, especially driving. It’s tragically traumatizing.
This 25-year-old young man, Mr. Ahmaud Marquez “Quez” Arbery was, by all of the reports, video, and police call followed and killed while jogging in Brunswick, GA on February 23rd. The story is just now gaining traction in national news in May with the hopes of a grand jury indictment in June. Wow. Two prosecutors have recused themselves from involvement in the case. 🙄 They should also permanently recuse themselves from their roles as Prosecutors, personal opinion. The two savages who carried out this scathing crime are free, pending a grand jury investigation with CLEAR DAYTIME VIDEO of the murder. Why? A man is dead here.
I read this story and literally broke down and cried. 😢 Outraged. I mean, I cried like I knew Mr. Ahmaud Arbrey. I did not. Nonetheless, I felt tragically familiarized to his story. I read the details of the story again searching for “just cause.” Did he rob, threaten, or harm someone? No such evidence in the immediacy of the details. He was chased down and ambushed.
I love God. I believe I have a pretty healthy outlook on life. I believe I’m a decent and caring person. I’m still a work in progress everyday. But to THINK I could make a “wrong turn,” be out at the “wrong time of night,” pullover to “get gas in the wrong town,” or go jogging in the “wrong neighborhood” and then BOOM. Death is the tragic outcome.
If you are Black, you are warned by the Elders to “not go out there and do this or do that.” I receive calls STILL echoing that concern: “be careful and be aware of your surroundings.” “Don’t hang out on that beach you love so much after a certain hour.” They know that I am a free, adventurous spirit who loves the average stranger. So, I laugh when I receive these calls followed by “Yes Sir” or “Yes Maam.” I know that what their ears have heard, eyes have seen and the terror of their heart’s experience is still present and familiar. It’s amazing “the instructions for enjoying freedom” that Black families are forced to share with their relatives and/or friends and descendants. It’s amazingly disgusting.
We are in the midst of an international outbreak impacting every corner of the globe and THEN on top of that in 2020 America — there is this reminder that there is inherent trauma associated with Being Black, living in “the land of the free and home of the brave.” The traumatic weight of being Black in this culture is not comparable to any other group of people that I have ever studied. Ever.
My heart is PIERCED with hurt over this. This is inhumane to say the least. Nope this is not the best of humanity, BUT it IS persistent in the company of our collective humanity. And, boy is it ugly. It is UGLY. We will not look the other way. This IS the DisUnited State(s) of America.
America is bleeding internally. It’s rich and ripe with the innocent blood of Blacks who have become victims of oppressive politics, pride, & faulty jurisprudence. Its organs are shutting down because its members ailing the most are often ignored, sacrificed, and made to feel as if the rest of the body can move on with their contributions to making the organism work, effectively. America is on a respirator, but those not primarily affected can still breathe, at least momentarily, because they are neglectfully strangling the others not realizing they are simultaneously self-asphyxiating its greatest success and its whole health. America has long since lost its mind, its brain even and has been replaced with cotton. No substance.
We are TIRED. Don’t tell us to get over. Don’t act like you’re annoyed. Remember, this DisUnited States Of America is the same place that allowed a teenager to be stalked, taunted and killed by a grown man who later sold the weapon used to kill him for profit. I’m still not over Trayvon Martin.
I wish people were as tired of it happening as they are of hearing the conversation on racial inequality. 😡 Ohhh say can you seee… Can you see?
Even, with all of these challenges, I am honored to be a member of one of the most resilient people in the history of the world. We are simply TIRED of having to use our storage of resilience on racism. TIRED.
My outrage at this is my greatest dignity. My silence is my greatest fault. I’m not silent. I’m disgusted.
“It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that’s pretty important.” — Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
#IRunwithAhmaud #ThisIsUs #AhmaudArbery #IAmTired #WeAreTired #Racism #DisUnitedStatesOfAmerica #CatrieseLive #CatrieseInspires #IAmTheOneIAmWaitingFor
