Keep Track But Dont Keep Score
My business partner Kelsi is the greatest person ever and I’m pretty sure she is the main reason we are successful:
- We always have each other’s back,
- we divide and conquer,
- we motivate one another; and
- we make sure only one of us is crying at a time. :)
Our relationship gets stronger every day, but it wasn’t always like that and I’m pretty sure there is one overall concept that really helped us achieve this dynamic.
Two Important Feelings and One Way Forward
A successful partnership of any sort always requires two people putting in equal amounts of work. But people often times experience one of two feelings, if not both. The ﬁrst is feeling inadequate or not good enough to be a part of the relationship. Feelings of lack or even being intimidated by the other person.
The second feeling is that of doing way more than your partner. Calculating each thing you’re doing better or more often than your partner, and this usually leads to spiteful resentment.
I’ve spent a while reﬂecting on this idea and I think it’s a solid one that more people should implement:
Keeping track without keeping score.
By deﬁnition, keeping score reﬂects competition. The reason score is kept is to show who is the winner, and who is the loser. This should never be the goal of a partnership; as a solid relationship is build on the idea that both people are giving and receiving equally. Keeping score means you’re in it to triumph over your partner or team members.
In a work environment, it can be easy to tally up everything you’re better at. Running your partner or team through this ﬁlter will quickly have you believeing you deserve more money, or you are the best part of the team and now it’s no longer a team effort and you have separated yourself from the group or partnership due to this way of thinking. So don’t keep score — building a partnership isn’t a basketball game, it’s a marriage of two people on the same team who need to be working together.
However, it is imperative that you do keep track.
- Keep track of what you bring to the table.
- Take note of what your skills are,
- what areas you excel in, and
- how you can improve.
It’s so important to recognize your value. It makes you a more-conﬁdent and more-prized partner and asset. When things get stressful, its easy to beat yourself up or sit in paranoia.
Reminding yourself of all your efforts and strength is crucial to getting through the hard times. You have to remember who you are and all the positive things you bring to the table.
When we built our company’s team (shoutout to the @viperbykch girls — you all are incredible) we instilled this value in them as well.
We strived to cultivate a company culture that mimicks our Co-Founder partnership. We remind our team what their individual strengths are and we play on them. We constantly build them up so that they can keep track of their own invaluable abilities.
At the same time, we remind them we are a team. We are stronger as a unit and we have each other’s back.
- So we don’t ever keep score,
- we aren’t in this for winners and losers,
- we’re in this to grow together.
I am strong because of my team, and vice versa. There is no competition among us, but we each know what we bring to the table and why we are valuable.
Keeping track without keeping score allows you to make conﬁdent decisions and feel good about your brand without turning your partnership or workplace into a world of stressful competition.
This also allows you to develop an incredibly strong bond built on a foundation of trust and belief in one another.
Here is one thing you can do
At the end of each day, write down what you have accomplished. Also write down how you felt that day. Not how you felt about what you did… Just how you felt that day.
Over time, you will see that just because you felt down doesn’t mean you were worthless. You still got things done. And sometimes just because you were up doesn’t mean you did a lot of things.
They’re not related.
That way, if you ever catch yourself feeling down again, you might realize that you are still amazing and can still do many things.
Not only that, but it acts as a journal that you can look back over and reﬂect on with pride at all the many great things you have accomplished in your life just by going one day at a time. If you ever forget your value, this little book will help you remember it.