A Letter To Delta Airlines Concerning My Day In Airport Prison
Dan Moore

I’ll be honest, I lost the thread very early on. You/the protagonist does not come across well. I know you tried to establish that you/he has some kind of claustrophobia in airports, and she/your girlfriend was sick, but this was just long-winded whining about a first world problem with no real sense of perspective. The redemption part came too late, I was skimming by then. Also the basic setup was sort of implausible, you can rent a car and drive to San Francisco in less than 13 hours, and it wouldn’t cost THAT much. If you meant this as fiction I think you need to amp up the reasons for the delay, maybe make it somewhere other than LAX so you can have a giant storm outside, etc. And foreshadow the redemptive aspect earlier in the piece.

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