Why to be honest with yourself !?
We love to tell ourselves stories, to believe in stories, to cling to our stories.
We like to find fault, to use painful life experiences or past hardships as excuses to justify why we are not, do not have, or do what we know we want.
We like to induce our weaknesses and attach ourselves to them to justify our unhappiness.
We like to wait for miracles and sell our illusions at the cost of our health, integrity and happiness.
We lie and deceive ourselves because we believe we don’t have the strength to face reality as it is. We are afraid to be honest with ourselves and this I believe is one of the main reasons for our suffering.
We lie because we want to keep that positive image in front of us, even if it is a cosmetic one. Because we don’t want others to notice those things that we can’t accept about us, that we don’t like. Thus, we lie to them too.
”we are responsible for our happiness”
Lying to yourself is perhaps one of the most common forms of lying. When there is too much of a difference between who we think we are or who we would like to be and who we really are, anxiety and fear arise, and to escape these uncomfortable feelings, we unconsciously resort to certain defense mechanisms. In our minds we distort reality to hide something we don’t want to accept, to support the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, those around us or our lives. Thus, we end up discounting or ignoring information that is inconsistent with the lies we tell ourselves, preferring to focus our attention on things that are less “threatening” and even look for evidence to prove that the lies are true.
These lies take us away from ourselves, from the inner truth and prevent us from being happy. We believe that if we delude ourselves, reality becomes more bearable, easier to live with. But things are exactly the other way around. Through lying and self-deception we deny our problems, but denying them doesn’t make them go away. We simply hide them under the carpet, we try to bury them as deep as possible. We can’t feel good when, instead of solving our problems, we pretend they don’t exist and carry them around. And besides, if the reality we’ve created is so unpleasant that we need self-delusion to put up with it, maybe the solution isn’t to try to lie better and longer, but to accept our problems , to find solutions to them, and thus to change that very reality. You go to the cause and remove the cause instead of finding strategies to try to deal with the symptoms.
Why is acceptance so important?
The moment you deny that you have a problem, even though it exists, there is nothing you can do to solve that problem. You can’t solve a problem that doesn’t exist, can you?
When we recognize who we really are and accept ourselves as we are, we have the opportunity to change those things that we don’t like about ourselves, that drag us down, that hurt us. However, when we are not satisfied with ourselves and our lives, but we pretend that we are fine, we prevent our change and block our evolution. “Oh, what if my partner cheats on me / treats me with disrespect / talks bad to me / ignores my needs and wants? After all, it could be worse. Actually, my situation is not that bad.” “And what if I’ve gained a few kilos, the clothes don’t fit me anymore and I don’t feel good in my skin anymore? Others have even bigger problems. I’m just not going to die from it. I’m fine….”
Deluding yourself that you are fine, that everything is fine when in fact things are not like that at all, is not evidence of positive thinking or optimism, but a way to avoid facing your problems, a way to avoid taking responsibility for your well-being.
Are you happy with your job? Or are you simply lying to yourself that… it’s fine and that’s it?
Do you feel at peace with yourself? Are you satisfied with the way you look, with your health?
Do you really have no time to read, exercise or do those things you once said you liked? Or do you make excuses because it’s more convenient that way?
Self-deception cannot be sustained indefinitely. Our subconscious mind keeps trying to send us signals that something is wrong with the way we live — we develop depressive symptoms, psychosomatic illnesses and other physical or mental disorders.
Many people wake up when life gives them no choice. When faced with critical situations, serious problems, illnesses or important losses. Often these moments bring us down to earth and make us realize what is really important to us, what really matters in this life.
Then the lies fall apart and with them we are brought face to face with the reality we have been trying to run away from. We don’t like to feel vulnerable or weak, and that’s exactly how we feel when we notice the less bright parts of our lives. That’s why we try to hide them. To gain a false sense of power, a false sense of control. But true inner strength is manifested precisely by accepting and confronting our problems, by being able to take our lives into our own hands, give up the victim mentality and make a covenant with ourselves that no matter what, we will not betray our truth inside, we will not give in to feelings of helplessness, we will not give in to the difficulties of life. We will do our best to solve and overcome them.
Dearfully,
CerebralInkWell
