So I think one has to ignore oneself so hard now as to hope that eternity will bring fulfillment. I think emotional disconnection is the root for this lack of meaning issue that we have. How come? I lived as a nihilist for about 2 years and it was so hard suicide was a viable option (after all, nothing has meaning and live is painful, fuck it right?). Then I went to therapy and understood my emotional life was really fucked up since I was a child (even though externally it didn’t seem like). I worked on those underlying problems and man, I don’t feel any issue with mortality or pointlessness anymore. I want to live, and my biggest fears right now are loneliness and boredom. Ultimate pointlessness? Why should life have a point anyway xD why would nature create a being that self-destroys with those questions? We are not that far from the rest of animals: we want to live, no real reason underlying it.