Sean’s Editing Comments:
- Once again, good voice. Your piece reads very conversationally. That being said…
- This piece reads very much like an ad or simple promotional piece for Krazy Karl’s. There’s a section on the rubric for how well your piece addresses counterarguments, and there don’t appear to be any in this piece. Perhaps you could pick a few criteria (pizza quality, menu diversity, wait time, etc.) and offer brief comparisons with rival pizza shops? Just a thought. Krazy Karl’s is one of the best in town, but it’s not the only one worth mentioning.
- There is also a section on the rubric for hyperlinks, of which we need five at minimum. I didn’t see any ):
- Before you publish, I would look over your punctuation and some of your sentence phrasing in the latter half of your article, as some of your thoughts didn’t read cleanly. But that’s just a nitpick.