The Jadhav Masterstroke

Prime Minister Narendera Modi has summoned a high-level national security meeting. Present are the Minister for External Affairs Sushma Swaraj, the Minister of Defense Arun Jaitley, Anil Dhasmana, Secretary (Research), the head of the Research and Analysis Wing (RAW), Intelligence Bureau (IB) chief Rajiv Jain, and Ajit Doval the National Security Adviser to the Prime Minister. The Indian High Commissioner in Pakistan is also present on a safe link Gautam Bambawale.

The point of discussion is the Indian spy Kulbhushan Jadhav, who was arrested by Pakistan on March 3, 2016, through a counter-intelligence operation in Baluchistan’s Mashkel area for his involvement in espionage and sabotage activities against Pakistan.

He was tried and sentenced to death on April 10 by the Pakistani Army’s Field General Court Martial (FGCM) under Section 59 of the PAA and Section 3 of the official Secret Act of 1923.

The Prime Minister signals and the High Commissioner starts talking, “I have met with Pakistan Foreign Secretary Tehmina Janjua. In fact, this was our 14th request, rather I demanded, a meeting with Jadhav, but they denied it.

“The Pakistanis say that they doing tit-for tat with us. Janjua told me that India had not provided consular access to Pakistanis in Indian prisons for years, despite their repeated requests and follow-up by the Pakistani High Commission in New Delhi.”

External Affairs Minister Sushma Swaraj added, “On April 12, the United Nations had declined to comment on Jadhav’s death sentence.

“I even called Jadhav, a son of India, but the Pakistanis keep repeating that they have strong evidence on his case.”

The RAW chief Anil Dhasmana, “I suggest that Shrimati Sushma should convey to the Pakistanis, Jadhav’s birth certificate. It is still fresh in our memories how the recently retired President Obama got ahead when he presented his birth certificate from Hawaii.

“I can go to Hawaii anytime to obtain Jadhav’s birth certificate.

“Our beloved Prime Minister, I can fly directly from Hawaii and deliver this certificate to Shrimati Sushma who can then ask our High Commissioner to present the case.”

The Prime Minister, who had by now called for and finished his favorite panchgavya — a drink made of five cow products: milk, ghee (boiled butter), yogurt, urine and dung.

“By the grace of Lord Hanuman, our party has secured UP by landslide. And getting Jhadav back will boost our party to Himalayan heights.”

Spymaster Dhasmana requests and Modi allows him to speak, “We all know that Kulbhushanjee was born in the city of Sangli in Maharashtra, but you how we, like Pakistanis, prefer attested copies. What could be a better attestation venue than Hawaii?

“Upon seeing this document, the UN will also gladly reconsider their earlier rejection.”

Meanwhile, the Prime Minister’s second glass of panchgavya arrives, and he addresses the meeting, “We should take more than concrete steps to free officer Jadhav.

“I am therefor pursuing this case personally. I am issuing a memorandum that Officer Jhadav was a cow in his first life and has been reincarnated as an Indian man. As a matter of fact, I am going to impress upon the fact that he was an Indian cow in his first life so no Pakistani can object that a non-Indian cow cannot be our Sacred Mother.

“From here Shrimati Sushma will take the matter further that Pakistan cannot kill our Sacred Mother. We have to explain to them that this reincarnation is cyclic and an endless Saṃsāra. Just like, I was Hitler in my first coming and was reincarnated as a Hindu male in India.”

Defense Minister Jaitley interjects, “Shrimati Sushma, you should not forget to enclose a copy of the Rigveda with the Prime Minister’s Memorandum, and the demand that Pakistan cannot even touch our Sacred Mother. You have to ask them to read Rigveda to know how reincarnation works!

“In fact, High Commissioner Bambawale should arrange a press conference in Islamabad to tutor the Pakistani media about the Rigveda and reincarnation. You all know that I was a monkey in my first coming.

“I remember you telling me that were a pig in your first birth.”

The Prime Minister concludes the meeting, “We are getting into action immediately and I am alerting Gau Raksha Dal — the cow protection force — to start calls at all local, state and the national level to ensure freedom for our Sacred Mother, I mean Kulbhushan Jadhav. Jai Hind.”