Something struck me quite recently. Our kids are likely to be splitting images of us. And I don’t mean that in a cosmetic sense. I’ve observed this only recently, both in myself and in others. And the implications of this are massive.

The kind of people we are, are the kind of people our kids turn out to be.

The point I’m trying to make is that kids consciously, subconsciously and unconsciously pick up little character traits from their parents. What this means is that there’s a good chance that your child is going to inherit your fears, your insecurities and all the other characteristics that define you, both good and bad.

The irony is that when you consciously try influencing your kids, it’s likely to backfire. I’m referring to the teenage rebellion that occurs when parents impose too many restrictions on their kids. So it’s best to be subtle.

So this is what you use to your advantage. Knowing fully well that your deficiencies are going to be inherited by your children and transmitted down every generation thereon, what better motivation for self-improvement do you need? Deciding to overcome your own fears and bad habits so that your kids turn out to be better people sounds like something that wouldn't need a lot of convincing to do.

Be a better person so your kids can be better people.

Remember there’s also the aspect of hypocrisy here. Parents sometimes use their kids to fulfill their own dreams and aspirations and to compensate for their shortcomings. I don’t think it should work that way. You can’t expect your kids to be awesome people, if you do not set the same standards for yourself. You need to set an example for them.

So, here’s a little exercise. Write down all the words you’d ideally like to use to describe your kids when they’re all grown up — basically the kind of person you’d want them to be. Smart, caring, honest, hard-working and so on? This image of your grown-up kids is who you should try to live up to. If you want your kids to grow up to be awesome, you’ll have to first show them how. Your kids are your biggest role models.

Note: I’m 22 years old, and a long, long way from having kids. But the idea that who I am now will have a huge influence on who my kids grow up to be decades from now is a sobering thought.

Do comment on the parts you agree/disagree with, and do recommend the article if you liked it. Cheers!