Low

Photograph by Charles Harry Mackenzie

Low
Self
Es
teem

Steam
Drags
Low

The mice?
They
Ignore
Me
I have no friends in the sewer

Shit
On the floor
Pull by the hair
Smash on the wall

My neck
Climbs
High
But my head?
It
Hangs
Low

Eye contact
Eye contact
Is Like
Telepathic daggers
And I’m made of paper
FUCK
My heart beats fast
My blood feels
Sharp
Somebody, anybody, please, evaporate me.

***

Now,
for the most part,
things are much different.

In fact,
now,
I get in trouble
for sticking my neck out.
For sticking my neck out!
Absurd.

I always dreamed of pride.
Is it a badge?
A feeling?
A thought?

I always dreamed of love.
I could give it,
but could I get it?
I’m still jangly.
Odd bones fused together.

But now I have humour.
Humour gets me through
that low self-esteem.