And despite all this, I am glad we did it. This trip has given me a glimpse at the limits of what I can ask of myself and my kid at this stage; it has given me a deep appreciation for a stranger turned caregiver, and most importantly for a professional organization — Startup Champions Network — that put its limited funds to where its commitment to inclusion is. To spring for conference daycare for a single child when you’re a nonprofit is not a straightforward act for most nonprofits.
Having childcare on site was a massive relief; it allowed me to give my best and be 100% present. Yet I would be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling a little lost after Deborah left in the afternoons. There were happy hours and ecosystem tours, receptions and dinners and war stories to be shared. In…
…lt up over two past and good experiences printing books with the professionals at Crown publishing. When you work with people who know what they’re doing, it’s so easy to assume that this is totally normal. That everyone is going to be at this level, because that’s the baseline you see. But it’s not normal. Whether constrained by a dysfunctional organization or whatever, plenty of people end up being incapable of rising to that baseline. And then you really start appreciating what you never even knew you had to worry about.
Through my experience, I learned three things: There’s nothing more satisfying than leaving a job that needs you more than you need it; quitting is a game of chess, not checkers — move in silence until you see your checkmate; and always check Glassdoor before accepting a job offer. Always!
turn blares … witnesses to the cultural moment. We don’t know how to get back to where we thought we were going. We’re driving with a shared GPS that at every turn blares “Recalculating!” and sends us back the other way. How do we navigate this nightmarish terrain?
I rage because I have given myself away. And each time I did, I wordlessly said: “It’s okay for me to give you my [attention, time, person, body] even though I don’t feel good about doing so, because it’s a thing that you want, and I don’t know how to extract myself gracefully.” My inability to stand up for myself enabled the very paradigm I rail against. I buried my truth.