I am surrounded by people who make me feel good, because they are genuine, caring, smart, awesome, fabulous, dedicated, and inspiring people. Knowing what it is like to be around people like that, I don’t want to waste time with the happiness suckers.

We've all known the happiness suckers, and even had them occupy spaces of importance within our lives. I once dated a man for a year that I would label as the epitome of a happiness sucker. Nothing in his life seemed to make him happy. His personal mantra was, “If only I had this ______, I’d be happy.” Needless to say, he’d get that — whatever that was — but his happiness would be short lived and he’d be right back to where he started.

Gradually I felt my own happiness affected by his habitual grumpiness. He became my own personal happiness sucker.

We all struggle at times with feelings of discontent, anxiety and the like. There are moments when we are not at our best, when sadness overruns us. There is nothing wrong with letting ourselves feel negative emotions and to then navigate through them. However, it is completely different when it becomes a normalcy. When we let ourselves be sucked into and stuck in the mire of self destruction and self loathing.

There are those people that almost seem to enjoy constant complaining and misery. These are people whom I have no more energy for. I cannot make it my primary purpose in life to attempt to figure out what fancy mathematical equation of my actions will result in a smile. For every time I fail, I will sense this and mourn this and take responsibility for it.

Someone else’s unhappiness is not my failure. I refuse to take responsibility for that which belongs to another. Our happiness is solely our obligation and under our personal charge. We choose the way that we look at the world. We cannot forcibly, or with any amount of coercion or convincing, change the way others choose to observe or experience the world around them.

I know, I’ve tried.

When you take this on, those people become your own personal happiness sucker. The more you funnel your energies into someone that is determined to be a grumpy Gus, the more you put your own wants and desires on hold in the attempt to force someone else to be happy. The more you do this, the more you find your own happiness gradually siphoned away.

This is the result of a happiness sucker.

They’re out there. You've been warned.