The Life That Never Was
What if people out there understood me? What if they loved me?
As I write these words, I look at my life. Plain, uninteresting, boring. No one might even read those words. In short, I am a nobody.
What if it didn’t have to be this way?
It’s easy to think how inconsequential I am, and that the only people that get attention are the celebrities recommended in my news feed. Is it really so?
I’ve met many amazing people in person before. They’re not stars, they’re just the “average” person living their lives like everyone else. Yet, there’s something about them that I look up to. I really want to be friends with them, to hear their stories, the struggles they faced and how they achieved their inspiring charisma.
Occasionally, I have a crush on a girl, someone on the street.
“Oh, she’s just so perfect!”
“Look at the way she walks, it’s amazing. You wouldn’t believe it when you stared into her dark, brown eyes- even for an instant. How she captivated me when I looked into them, a mischievous twinkle in them.”
“She isn’t smiling, but her innocent, jovial face makes it look like she’s beaming all the time. Even her hair is flawless, the way it flows smoothly down her shoulders. When it gets into her eyes, the way she brushes it away makes me wanna fait. Gosh!”
At least that’s what I think.
I walk away, hoping that I might see her someday. Every time I pass by that particular street, I glance around to see if she’s there. Apparently not. I sigh and continue my way home, pass the ice-cream stands and flowerbeds that seem bleached of colour. Even the sky is monochrome; the butterflies lifeless.
What If…
It was only recently that I began to think about whether I might mean the same for others. What if some people actually look up to me, wondering how I go about my daily life. They might be, instead of being indifferent-only too eager to hear what I have to say!
It’s an enlightening thought. What if amongst the sea of all the people I’ve ever met, a good many actually liked me? They might share all my views about life, and marvel at my “ridiculous” dreams of changing the world. What if for all the people I’ve fallen for, an equal number have done the same for me?
I might be going too far and trying to feel more self-important, but that is certainly an intruiging prospect. If just one of us took the chance and approached the other, we could have found ourselves a companion for life. You and me, we could have drawn out crazy plans without fear of judgement from someone else. We could have laid on the freshly mown grass under the stars, silent but content at our existence.
Is something like that impossible? I am inclined to believe that it is not. Sadly, so many of us lose out on the chance. I didn’t get to date the girl of my dreams, and you didn’t get to meet that one person that understood you for who you are.
That is, the life that never was.
One day, perhaps…
