Stopping An Argument Before It Starts

We all know those moments when someone else’s words or actions make us see red, but are we really mad for the reason we think? Is it possible that we are making our selves crazy? A teacher once told me that only 10% of our feelings stem from the current moment, the rest are from the past. You may be on the defense of an invisible field, meaning you are defending an emotion that doesn’t exist in that current moment.

In these moments of anger we feel incapable of seeing things differently. This is why it is so important to simply say,”I need a minute to think”. When we take a minute to think about our feelings, we are acknowledging that there may be another way to look at the situation. When we open our selves to a different outcome, a different outcome will inevitably appear. Sit in silence and say to yourself,”how can I see this differently? Have I felt this way before? If so, when? How may the other person be feeling?”

Don’t get me wrong. I know this shit is hard. I struggle with anger everyday, but everyday it gets easier. I use to get angry and hold grudges for days, ultimately creating a trail of emotional damage for myself. Now I’ll only get angry for a minute or two before I find my way back to love. This has to be a daily practice, that’s not to say you won’t make mistakes. Simply forgive yourself for acting out of fear and return to love.