“What do you believe?”
On October 5, I was at a dinner with about 50 other people listening to inspiring words from David Eisenhower (grandson of President Dwight D. Eisenhower) who spoke eloquently about leadership, globalism and connection. Afterwards as dessert was being served, my table mate, Ayodeji, asked me a question and I almost dropped my fork.
But before I get to the question, let me tell you a little bit about Ayodeji Adewunmi from Nigeria. He co-founded a company, Jobberman, to connect 70,000 people with employment — and that was just in 2014. He is now turning his attention to help students develop the skills for higher paying jobs, creating economic prosperity in Nigeria and across Africa. He and 34 other African Fellows and Zhi-Xing China Fellows are overcoming incredible odds to create goodness where many have given up hope.
So now for the question. As David Eisenhower finished his words, Ayodeji turned to me and asked me without blinking, “What do you believe?” What? I could hardly believe it. He could have asked me anything. Small talk would have been perfectly acceptable. But he looked at me with a deep intensity that demonstrated there was no time to waste words.
“What do you believe?”
My answer spilled out, tumbling into five statements that emerged before I even knew what I was saying. As I was talking, I thought, “God I hope I remember this.” And I did. So I thought I would share this in case it is helpful to anyone. Here is what I believe:
1 — I have to show up.
What is calling me? Who do I make time for no matter what? What does the world need me to do? I want to Listen. Focus. Be there. And not let anything stop that process. I want to dedicate my time, my energy and my life to it. I know I don’t have to have it all figured out. I don’t have to know what or why or how. All I have to do is just show up.
2 — It’s fun to work hard.
Nothing happens by magic. Dedication and persistence are friends when you love what you do. Work is creation — and we can create whatever we want. It is not instant; it is not always easy; it is not without sacrifice. But if it is worth it, you do it.
3 — Tell the truth.
Ahhhh the most important thing. No lies. Ever. Not the white lies, not the big sloppy nasty ones. I try not to lie to myself or to others and I don’t tolerate people who lie to me. If there is dishonesty, there is nothing. It is an amazing clarifier and makes life super simple when we just tell the frickin’ truth.
4 — Nothing is an accident.
There were plenty of years that I let fear tell me that my dreams were impossible. I didn’t stick up for myself. I stayed quiet as others took credit for my work. I protected people who were dishonest. Those experiences were beautiful teachers of valuable lessons that I clearly needed to learn. Today I live differently and now things align in an uncanny way that goes far beyond luck. I know beyond a doubt that everything that happens has a purpose. I know that we are guided.
5 — Compassion solves pretty much anything.
Life became so much easier and a lot more fun when I could finally just accept what is and let everything else go. It means assuming the best of people, no matter what. Yes the person who cuts me off in traffic. Yes the person who has an opposite political view (even the super crazy one that I can’t believe people actually subscribe to.) Yes the person who was cruel to me, lied to me, stole from me. Yes yes yes. What if I don’t really understand the whole story? What if it doesn’t event matter what the story is? I have a choice to drop the anger and resentment and instead open my heart. No fixing, no blaming, just accept and move on. Total freedom.
Now I’m not saying that I do this all gracefully. There are plenty of whoooops moments — more and more each day in fact. So much room to be human. My hope is that this doesn’t sound preachy — my intent is not to wag a finger but rather to share and to say THANK YOU to Ayodeji for asking the important questions. “What do you believe?”
