Pieces of My Heart
Every so often, I want to share me. My heart, who I really am, and what makes me tick. I write on so many other topics, interviews with fun musicians, movie reviews, articles on politics, etc. But I want to allow y’all to get to know who Chelsea is. So here are some pieces of my heart, spilled out for you to get to know Chelsea!
Recently, I was home in North Carolina, and it’s one of the few places in this world that I can simply be Chelsea. My heart and soul needed to be refreshed, and time to slip away. It’s as if there’s a “reset” button in me that needed to be pushed. When I got back from Israel a few months ago, I felt incredibly restless. I was so close to deciding to move overseas. Obviously I have no clue what that would have looked like, but traveling to Israel, seeing need, and having a desire to help made me restless.
At the beginning of this month, I attended the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit. My heart beats so strongly for orphans and vulnerable children, and every fiber of my being wants so desperately to make a difference in the lives of those little ones. I want to pour out my life for something that matters more than me. I want to be a voice of hope. I want to adopt one day, and be a mama to tons of kiddos!
But, if I’m being totally transparent, I want to to be noticed for my work. I want the lips of man to praise me, instead of longing to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” That is horrible to admit, but the Lord knows the secrets of the heart. (Psalm 44:21) My heart is innately sinful, and in the process of being sanctified. I struggled on if I should even share this, but decided that it’s honest, and I’m striving to proclaim my weakness so that Christ might shine through me. As my pastor, Mark Dever says,
“Make us deaf to the applause of others”
I don’t trust the Lord to do the quiet, secret, upraised work. Oh how often my desire for worldly recognition overshadows my desire for the glory of my King. I’ve been praying that the Lord will change my heart, and that the desires of my heart will be His desires. Ann Voskamp, author of one of my favorite books (1000 Gifts), wrote a piece that I love, and is such a good reminder for the soul.
“We all get to make one unforgettable mark. And every day, with every word, we get to decide; ‘Do we mar the world, or mark the world?’ Why in the world disdain the small? It’s always the smallest strokes that add up to the greatest masterpiece. The thing is, do we ever really know which mark we make — that will matter the most? The extraordinary things happen nowhere else but in the everyday and today can always be the beginning. It all matters. The only way to ever leave beauty marks on the world is with bits of yourself and that will hurt. Things of realest beauty don’t bring us glory, but Him glory.”
“The wise are the hidden who hold out for heaven, and the applause that comes from God. This is to choose the far greater. There is a plan and there is a purpose and there is a God in heaven who didn’t just ink you onto the palms of His hands, but etched your name right into Himself with nails, and eh hasn’t jut got your name, He’s got your heart. He sees you, hidden in Him, and you aren’t ever forgotten because God’ can’t forget those right in Him.”
If you’re feeling small or insignificant, remember, God delights in the weak and the humble. Perhaps the small is where God is, perhaps it brings Him joy to know that His children are quietly serving, for His glory and His approval. Perhaps, God is withholding a stage, because He knows the value of a stable. The humble. The seemingly everyday objects.
Humans. There are billions of us — we’re seemingly everyday objects. But oh, we’re so much more than that . In the worlds of the beloved C.S. Lewis,
“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations — these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with work with, marry, snub and exploit — immortal horrors or everlasting splendors. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously — no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.”
Would you join me in seeking the heart of God, growing downwards, deeper into a relationship with Him, instead of desiring a glory that isn’t ours to begin with. Will you love and serve His children without abandon, knowing that everything you do and say in His name has eternal value? Will you long to hear the cherished words of our Father on that final day….