A Plea for Nick Hart

by Tif Harrison

photo cred: Joe Mazza of Brave Lux

Last night, I pitched a play for TML where we use our advantage of having real audience members to collect physical money for our Crowdrise accounts. It was a gift to friend and collaborator, Nick Hart.

Nick has been having a rough time getting money. He’s begun placing bets with other company members and telling them that, if he wins, they have to donate to his Crowdrise.

Nick has raised $35.

The play is in the show this weekend and hopefully we will all walk away with a little heavier pockets. Below is a sneak preview of what is in store.


THE GREATEST PENNY WAR; the bloodsport of fundraising

written by Tif Harrison, 2016

Epic battle music at go. Light fades up

All neos in a clump in down spot. Everyone is wearing some makeshift battle attire. Music underscores.

ALL: AAAAAAAAHHHHH!

MW: Context! We are in the middle of our annual fundraiser!

ALL: AAAAAAAAHHHHH!

NH: This year, the company has decided to use a crowdsourcing platform called

ALL: CROWDRISE!

JK: It’s similar to all the others, except you can set personal goals and watch the progress of your fellow fundraisers.

MW: While some are succeeding, others are falling to the wayside.

NH: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHhhhhI’ve only raised $35.

JK: We hold weapons that others do not!

MW: MACHETES!

JK: No.

NH: LONG 2X4’s WITH NAILS IN THEM!

JK: No…

TH: GRIZZLY BEARS WITH TEETH MADE OF CHAINSAWS!

JK: What? Jesus, no. No. We have the audience!

MW: Fuck the internet! This is hand-to-hand fundraising, now!

NH: This is how we Crowdrise, mother fuckers.

JK: We are offering you the chance to sponsor one of us!

MW: We wear these cans, collecting as much from you as you are willing to give!

NH: Your real dollars will be turned into digital currency!

JK: Help us defeat all the others who were too busy to be in the show themselves!

TH: Checks can be made out to The Neo-Futurists!

Music bumps up

ALL: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

Group runs into audience and starts collecting money.

CURTAIN

*Everyone wears a can around their neck for the rest of the show and the post-show. Money will be added to crowdrise pages daily/weekly with a note as to where it came from.


Let me be clear, I DO NOT SUPPORT GIVING MONEY TO NICK’S CROWDRISE OVER MINE. I am just as thirsty as the next fundraiser. However, if you are stuck between Nick and anyone else, for the love of god, give to Nick.

His little bowl is so empty.