Tilting the Hand
Why I want to show you what I’m holding in life…
I want to share a truth with you. It is a truth I realized when I made it to “adulthood”… that mysterious gray line that for some people is defined by an age and for others is defined by a mindset. It is a truth that I've come to realize as a father, a married man, and a business owner. That truth is this:
I never know what I am getting myself into.
On Fatherhood — When it comes to raising my stepson who is 14 years old and my biological son who is turning 3 this year, I have come to realize that I am not a perfect father by any means. I work hard at my job and even harder at my business. When I see my children in the breaks I have, I see a reflection of my father; a man who has worked all through our childhood keeping the roof over his family’s head and standing as the disciplinary whenever my brother and I stepped out of line. He loved us and he made that clear, but we had a deep respect and fear of him.
As I am now in the shoes he has walked in for much of his life, I can’t help but wonder how I turned out the way I did. I want my children to see the benefits of working hard at what you love and not getting stuck in a position they cannot get out of. I want them to see that realization of dreams come with a tall price; one that requires patience, dedication, long hours, and infinite learning. I want them to believe in themselves and not see anyone else hold them back. In four days (it is now March 7th, 2015), I will be turning 26 and I can tell you that fatherhood is still a mystery to me. It’s easy to change a diaper, to buy food, to spend money and get your child what they ask for but it is hard to know how to develop their inner self so that they realize what it means to believe in their ability amongst all of the distractions that exist around us.
I am scared of not being a good father.
On Marriage — Marriage does not change anything. If you are in a relationship and it is not working, don’t get married. Marriage is one of the hardest things you will ever do and saying the words “I do” doesn't even take a shaving of ice off of the tip of the iceberg of what the commitment of marriage actually is. I honestly believe that if you are in a marriage and never had a fight that you two wanted to split apart but instead worked through it and put your faith in each other first, only to come out the other side a stronger couple with a better understanding of each other, then you've never been in a real marriage.
My wife and I after almost seven years of being together (three as a married couple) are starting to understand what it means to be a “Forever and Always” couple. It is so difficult but in the same sentence is the most rewarding experience ever. If you have a partner that believes in you, supports you and your dreams through sacrificing themselves, and is unquestionably faithful, you need to go out and buy the ring. Now. You cannot determine these qualities in one month. My best advice to anyone is live with the partner that you feel could be “the one” for one year. I don’t care if you dated for three years and you live separately at your parents’ houses… this doesn't count. If you can accept that person and all of their flaws in that time period, you may be onto something.
I am changing my core characters to become a better man for my wife.
On Business — Here is the truth about business ownership. You must be passionate and you must believe in yourself. There are no two ways about this. No one knows what this is like until you've tried it for yourself. It is the exact experience as a marriage. If you start to lose faith, your business will fail. This passion will be tested every step. There will never be a time when it stops and levels out. Complacency breeds a stale product and consumers simply will find the next product that fills their void of a fresh new product.
Staying relevant can be tough but I find that showing my hand is everything. Why wouldn't I want to share it? Maybe someone else out there has something they could bring to the table and wants to collaborate with me so we both share a mutual benefit. If there is a chance you want to share your network with me and vise versa, there is a huge opportunity for the both of us to grow and develop a meaningful and lasting relationship. I do not just want your business…
I want your friendship.
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