Tinder dating for straight men when you’re NOT in the “hot 10%”…

I thnk I’ve had Tinder for about a year and a half now. And I’ve gone on one Tinder date that ended up in a “you seem nice, let’s meet for another date” followed by complete radio silence. ONE. That’s it. No other date records for me. I later learned through a common friend she was trying to get over a bad break-up and just tried Tinder for the kicks, but ended going back to her ex.

And I really don’t consider myself a hideous monster that is so far away from the beauty spectrum that you would run away from. I’m not extremely picky when it comes to swiping right. I’d say I get a ratio of 65% right, versus 35% left. Of course, swiping right does not guarantee you’ll get a match. I’ve learned that all too well. Now, let’s crack down my profile. First all 6 pics are there. First one is the one right on my profile here, and it’s what I look more accurately now (shaved head and all). Second pic, I am smiling big, head front to the camera. Third pic, is with a friend at Ultra Music, having fun with the crowd. Fourth, me playing the bass. Fifth, having fun at a bar with friends, and last but not least, to show off bit of sillyness, me doing a silly face in front of two wax statues of Patrick Star and Spongebob. I’ll agree that the last one may seem childish, but to be fair they were wax statues the size of a 9 year-old kid. I HAD TO DO IT… Then my description. I have changed it over the years, trying to find the best way to get those elusive matches. Right now it looks like this:

“1,80m. Brazilian, Gaucho, Gremista (my football team in Brazil). Citizen of the world. Cook, writer by vocation, PR specialist as a career. I like conversations face-to-face, so don’t be surprised if I ask you out after a few exchanges.

Scifi writer, a bit of a computer nerd. I like entertaining activities, whether they be outdoors or indoors.”

As you can see, quite the description. And it hasn’t given me a single match. Not one. To be fair to the app, I do seem to live in a country where most women that use Tinder, are looking for prince Charming with the sixpacks and the Italian/European combo of light-colored eyes/fair white skin/squared jaw/whatever color of hair that brings out these features. At least that’s what I’ve seen with some of my female friends. And the issue is this: As I’ve stated before, I consider myself to be an average looking guy. Well, a bit over average considering the standards of the country I live. I’d say I’m about a 6 or 7. Is it that there are so many men to choose from, that women just swipe right for 9s or 10s? I have no clue.

I’ve talked it over with a friend that is considered to be a 9 by the ladies. He has gone on several Tinder dates, and he even found his current girlfriend through the app. I think he told me he had around 600 matches. 600! And here I am, trying to get more than 1. I saw his profile, and there weren’t many differences to be fair. No six pack pics, no jackass pics… just your average having fun pics. Hell he even had one where he’s playing the drums!

So here’s the reality about Tinder dating in South America when you’re an average man: It doesn’t exist. If you get a match, give it to the “I’m sorry I swiped wrong and then you seemed nice” excuse. You’ll be more successful just by approaching girls at bars. And it will be way funnier.