5 Signs You Should Stop Eating Gluten

1. You are having more abdominal bloating and gas than normal.
2. Skin contact with flour results in a rash, or hives, or a whitish powdered appearance.
3. When you clicked on this link, your mouse felt tender and soft, like a freshly baked baguette.
4. Every time you reach for a loaf of bread in the supermarket, a time portal opens and the Future Anti-Gluten Task Force serves you with a 403H Part 7 writ: Order to Cease Gluten Consumption to Prevent Temporal Paradox.
5. In the middle of eating a Glutenburger, you start retching up blood.