i’m done with ken bone

That’s it — the ship has sailed. It crashed into an oil rig, burst into flames and the charred remains now rest eternally on the ocean floor.

The last red-sweatered hope for America has become self-aware. He’s in on the joke. It’s over. All hope is lost. Ken Bone is dead.

This is a man who’s probably used a full size spiral-bound notebook as a day planner for most of his adult life and just recently came to the realization that no other sane person does that, so now he’s staging shoots about dinner plans with his grandma for likes and retweets. “NO Media, expect for my mentions please. #priorities #brand”

When you know exactly what you’re doing but you act like you aren’t doing anything, being genuine is hard.

Also, I would urge my man to reconsider the wording of “grandma dinner” if he wants to avoid being targeted as a suspect in any future missing persons cases.

Side note: Ken Bone drinks Bud Select. We’re done here.

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