How To Make Your Mind Unbreakable

by Chris Kyle

I just spent the weekend reading “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” by Amy Morin. It’s a great book that spawned from a viral blog post (you can read the original post here).

It inspired me to create this post. It’s about simple actions you can take to improve your mental strength. Deep breath. Let’s go!

Be Grateful

(1. Mentally strong people don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves)

It’s starting to get boring. Every blog post about self improvement touts gratitude as the tonic for your shitty problematic life. But that’s because it really does work to lift your mood and dissolve self pity. Here’s my three step strategy for getting grateful fast:

Step 1: Say thanks. Say it as soon as something happens, good or bad. Don’t think why, just say it. This will automatically shift your thinking.

Step 2: Ask why. You’ve just shown gratitude for a situation. Now we need to find out why you could possibly be thankful for what just happened.

Step 3. Ask how it could be worse. There is always someone somewhere getting it tougher than you. Much tougher. Be thankful your first world problems are just first world problems.

Control Your Emotions

(2. Mentally strong people don’t give away their power)

When someone cuts you off in morning traffic, every second you spend reacting is a transfer of power from you to them. You are handing them a lump of your energy. Learning to control your emotions will help you retain that energy instead of giving it away. We’re not talking about stifling your anger/sadness/hate/embarrassment. Instead accept your initial reactions. Then try to understand that you are bigger than most of the situations you’ll encounter on a daily basis. Let any negative emotion pass through you. You are always better than your first reaction. Doing this will keep your mind primed for the bigger battles ahead.

Embrace Change

(3. Mentally strong people don’t shy away from change)

No one wants change. It triggers a neanderthalic anxiety that 250 million years ago kept us from ever leaving the cave. We live in a different world. Change does not equal death. On the contrary, change equals life. It means growth. Try to re-frame your anxiety as excitement. Visualize who you might be with a more positive outlook. It’s cliche but seek out the feeling of being uncomfortable. If you don’t want to do something, take that as a sign that you should do it. It’s always the right thing.

Stop Complaining

(4. Mentally strong people don’t focus on things they can’t control)

This one is dead simple. Ask yourself this: can I realistically do anything right now to change this? If the answer is no, drop it immediately. That’s all. Don’t complain about it. No amount of complaining will make a difference. What will make a difference is focusing on only things you can change and make better. Do this and all the uncontrollable’s will simply melt away.

Ignore The Haters

(5. Mentally strong people don’t worry about pleasing everyone)

Not everyone will like what you do. And that’s OK. But some people will just dislike your work to spite you. Don’t waste your time and energy on a response. You don’t need to win over everyone. Hell, you don’t need to win over anyone. Do your best, put it out there, but don’t worry if someone doesn’t get it. Someone will.

Be Brave

(6. Mentally strong people don’t fear taking calculated risks)

This sounds ridiculously simplified but courage comes to everyone that needs it. When you are faced with a decision, committing anything other than 100% will leave you racked with self doubt. Instead, trust that you can handle it. It’s a risk yes, but everything is a risk. Actually scrap that, nothing is a risk. You are going to die eventually. Be brave and don’t die before your time!

Stay In The Present

(7. Mentally strong people don’t dwell on the past)

The past is nothing but a memory. The future is nothing but a vision. You have now. That’s all. Focusing your attention either side of the now line will do very little for you. Stay in the present, be where you are and you’ll be amazed at how much happier you are.

Keep Improving

(8. Mentally strong people don’t make the same mistakes over and over)

There’s a guy in my work. Let’s call him Dave. Dave asks me the same questions every few weeks and I give him the same answers. It’s got to the point where I have a draft email sitting waiting for Dave. Don’t be like Dave. Ask. Learn. Retain. It will give you the mental strength to tackle anything life throws at you.

Get Inspired

(9. Mentally strong people don’t resent other people’s success)

When you see someone who is better than you at something, don’t get jealous. Get curious. Ask them how they did it. Then be inspired by their success. If they can do it, you can do it. Don’t compare yourself to them. Study from them, steal their methods and add your own special ingredients.

Develop True Grit

(10. Mentally strong people don’t give up after the first failure)

Resilience can be learned. This is a moment in your life. Not your life. Who lives their life from start to finish without failing at something? Who is so perfect, that nothing they do is criticized and every action they take is met without friction. People who waste their life sitting on the sofa, too afraid to leave the house…that’s who. Go fail and fail again. Pride yourself in your dogged grittiness. You are a bull terrier and you can take a punch in the chops any day of the week.

Schedule ‘Me’ Time

(11. Mentally strong people don’t fear alone time)

It’s important to be happy with your own company. If you’re an extrovert you’ll probably start craving interaction after a while. But focus on yourself. Know that everyone needs alone time to recharge and ground themselves. Plan these pockets of isolation into your week. You’ll be amazed at how much more up for the challenge you’ll be.

Work Hard

(12. Mentally strong people don’t feel the world owes them anything)

Hard work ALWAYS has a return. Even if it is simply the self satisfaction that you have put your all into something. We all know people who go about their daily lives with a chip on their shoulder. Maybe they lost out on a promotion or were rejected by a crush or didn’t win the lottery on Saturday night. They refuse to give 110% because they don’t see the point. See the point. Work hard and you will be rewarded in some way.

Be Patient

(13. Mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results)

Trust in the process. Know that you need to serve your time. There are no real shortcuts, so it’s a necessary pain everyone who want to succeed must go through. Eventually the crack will appear…just make sure you’re there to see it!

If you take any one of these 13 actions you’ll certainly be well on your way to making your mind unbreakable! Go get ’em tiger!

Thanks for reading.

☞ Want to be more productive? Check out my productivity system called Strikethru. It’s on Kickstarter right now:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/chriskyle/strikethru-the-to-do-list-notebook-0