One Little Thing I Learned Today — August 11 2016

As a teenager, and all throughout my twenties, my biggest problem was not really knowing who I am, what I really want. One of my sayings was “I have all the options and none of the choices”. I felt like the world was open to me, but I didn’t know how to reach out and grab it. Like a leaf on the breeze, fluttering this way and that, just going where the wind took me, aimlessly.

Years went by. I was fortunate to meet someone and fell in love, and we had a child. And then two. And then… Three. Life got difficult, poor choices were made, mistakes happened. Eventually I ended up back at school, where I am now, at 31 years old, learning new skills to step into a new industry.

But my biggest problem still dogged me. Who am I really? My interests aren’t vast or deep. I have difficulty expressing myself. I don’t really hold many opinions. But I love to help people. I used to tutor guitar, and as a young adult I taught at a local Air Training Corps school just north of Wellington, New Zealand. I make time for people. I want to see everyone follow their dreams, and succeed in spite of their circumstances and personal obstacles. And, I’m willing to listen, even if I can’t offer any practical advice, I’m happy to just listen.

We’ve just had a three day crash course in photography, a subject I previously didn’t hold much interest for. Composition, light and shadow, portrait and landscape photos. The thirds rule. Vertical and Horizontal lines. Implied lines. Basic concepts to taking a good photo. I sat with our tutor and discussed an upcoming photo essay. I explained how I liked vertical lines, implied vertical lines, implied triangles, shades of blue and silver.

I liked these things, but can’t explain why other than “it looks cool”. She says “Oh, you’re making so much more sense now. Vertical lines show strength, while triangles portray stability. Blue is a welcoming, calming color”.

To be honest, it sort of blew my mind. It summed up who I am, or rather, who I’ve grown into. A father figure (literally and figuratively). Someone you can talk to. Someone with empathy, who cares. Ready to listen, willing to act. And those principles come across in how I approach photography and my interest in colors. And by extension, it’s a lens through which I view life. I knew more about myself than I previously gave credit for.

That was one little thing I learned today.