3 Things California Could Buy With My $33 State Income Tax Payment

According to the United States Internal Revenue Service, I owe the state of California $33 on the freelance income I earned while working on a TV show in San Diego over the course of four days in 2015. Here are some things the coffer keepers in the Golden State could buy with my money:

This 8-cup digital rice cooker on Amazon.com

Current Amazon customer rating: 4.3 out of 5 stars

Originally $110, this handsome rice cooker is currently on sale for $31.52. That’s a 71% discount for a total savings of $78.48. For a state not normally known for its fiscal responsibility, this is a very attractive deal. Would make a smart addition to the commissary in the state capitol building.

Assorted early-‘90s baseball card sets

Dare you to eat the gum.

Someone in Castaic, CA is selling complete, unopened Major League Baseball card sets from 1990, 1991, and 1992. According to this Craigslist ad, all three sets could be yours for $30, and are said to include rookie cards of Sammy Sosa, Bernie Williams, Mike Mussina, Manny Ramirez, and Chipper Jones. Imagine how those would look framed and hanging on the wall of the state senate chamber.

Pizza, a drink, and “bath stuff” at the mall

Luckily enough, someone on Yahoo! Answers asked the impossibly specific question, “What things should I buy at the mall with $33?” Three people responded with suggestions that included the above items, as well as stationary and “maybe some socks and underwear.” I’m not sure how this would serve to benefit the public good, but I think we can all agree that investing in quality socks and underwear is always a practical choice.

Enjoy my $33, dicks.