Confederate Pride, From the Perspective of a Southerner Who Doesn’t Understand It

A brief reflection on the recent controversy

Chris Anderson
Aug 22, 2017 · 8 min read

I have a large backyard. Well, large for a single guy living in his first apartment (technically, it’s a duplex on private property, my landlord calls it an apartment). It’s big enough for a full-size volleyball net and players on either side, let’s leave it at that. This means that, according to the terms of my lease, a mild burden I accept because I like being and want to be independent, I must frequently go out into the uncomfortably muggy South Carolina heat to push my sputtering lawnmower around and cut the grass, grass which grows at an alarmingly fast rate. I make it sound worse than it really is. I actually sort of enjoy doing it, but it’s the rain and zealous humidity in this state that makes simple yard work not so simple anymore. And, it’s rough on my already irritated sinuses.

Standing in my backyard, where I live on the corner of two streets, I have a clear view of one of my neighbors’ houses who lives across the street. I don’t know these people personally. I know there are several cars in the driveway, it’s a decent looking but modest sized house, and that’s about it. The other day, while walking my dog on one dwindling afternoon, I just happened to notice for the first time that this house has a Confederate flag hanging by the front door. It was just sitting there, flapping in the wind like no big deal, like a tree or a flower bed. A decoration. It’s not something I haven’t seen before though, I have seen Confederate flags everywhere for as long as I’ve lived here. As I said, I’m not familiar with the people who live there, and if I saw them on the street I wouldn’t know them from Adam, but in this day and age the Confederate flag is still an oddity in my mind, even though I’m accustomed to seeing it. Since I noticed the flag hanging there, I can’t help but gaze over at it every time I mow my lawn, drive by, or walk the dog.

As I brought my mower to a halt to take a breather on one particularly sultry afternoon, wiping the sweat from my brow and tasting it a little as it dripped down my face, I saw a man emerge from around the backside of the house. He’s a tall and somewhat portly fellow, Caucasian, crew cut hair, probably in his forties. He’s about to start up his own lawnmower. I don’t blame him, it’s been raining a lot lately, and now while it’s sunny would be a good time to cut the grass. He sees me from across the street, pushing along, then smiles, nods his head, and waves. I smile and wave back. Nothing to it, just a moment of friendliness and understanding between two guys. It’s almost like saying, “Hey, you mowing the lawn too? Nice.”

I get back to mowing the lawn, there’s clouds moving in from the south and I need to finish before it rains. While I’m mowing, I start to wonder about why he and whoever else that lives there decided to champion the Confederate flag, much less post it in front of their house. It’s a question I have asked myself over and over again. So far, I’ve come up with lots of speculation and no concrete answers. I’ve been casually keeping an eye on their house ever since, and the people filtering in and out don’t look like stereotypical rednecks. They look downright normal. Like average folks. The question keeps burning in my mind…what is it about the rebel flag that makes it such an appealing symbol?

My entire life, no exaggerating, I have seen people display Confederate flags. As a kid in grade school, I saw both girls and boys alike wear clothes with the flag on them. These clothes were usually tee shirts, and sometimes hats. The shirts have images that smack of country living, with pictures of hunting dogs, classic automobiles, fields of wheat, grizzled men with guns, things of that sort. The Confederate flag is in the background like a sunset on the horizon, tying the imagery together. At the time, I took these shirts for granted. Like I said, it was everywhere. I even saw it in the homes of some of my family members. In hindsight, this seems inexplicable to me. Why would a child or a teenager find solace in this, and why would their parents let them wear it? When you wear something on a shirt, it’s like saying, “I approve of this”. So, hunting dogs I can understand. Cars are cool too. Guns? Sure, why not? But the Confederacy? I was puzzled. Everyone here wears the sporty hunting gear aesthetic, so it’s not uncommon to see shirts with fish, bumper stickers that say “Salt Life”, hats with fish hooks, and so many guys with so many boat shoes (see, Sperry Topsider). I have never been hunting in my life, though I am extremely interested, but I would probably even have more luck in my dating life if I wore more khaki shorts, visors with beer brands on them, slapped a fishing-related bumper sticker on my car, and replaced all my shirts with pseudo-fancy button ups and redneck-esque tee shirts. That’s not me, of course, I’m just trying to paint an image in your head, here.

What I could not understand, all the typical ways of dressing and practicality aside, was why anybody would feel connected to the losing side of the Civil War. They were in rebellion. Anti United States. Didn’t they fight over slavery? For God’s sake, guys, we live among black people, they’re a part of our society now. These people are your classmates, neighbors, and friends! We date them, I have dated them, we treat them as equals. Why would you then proudly display a flag that represented slavery? It’s outdated. It literally means nothing anymore, because the Confederacy was defeated. And yet, here it is. The flag is on your shirt, your pickup truck, your house…how are we supposed to feel about that? “It’s heritage”, they say. Heritage? Were your ancestors white people in the Confederacy? I’m not sure I could say the same, as I have it on good authority that my own ancestors were Native American, at least partially. My skin is white though, and you don’t see me chomping chewing tobacco and waving the rebel flag. What gives? I at least found hope in sound reason when at one point, in my later years in high school, the teachers started making students with Confederacy-displaying shirts on turn them inside out, to hide the decoration. That was the extent of actions taken during my childhood though.

Of course, the years did drone on. I forgot about it. Nobody was making a fuss about it, so I became accustomed to seeing it. Fast forward to my modern life, where we have reached the point we’re at now. Suddenly, the US has decided that the Confederacy in any form is simply no longer acceptable. Statues and flags are being torn down! Well, my first thought could be, “it’s about time”, because I never understood it anyway. And Nazis? You’ve got to be kidding me. There’s no excuse for a Nazi. Free speech or not, I draw a line in the sand at Nazis, thank you very much.

This is not totally a black and white situation though, no pun intended. Half of Twitter says that this is a slippery slope we’re on, and I have to agree on a certain level. It may be an old adage, but the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. If we start rewriting history, we are in dangerously Orwellian territory, and nobody wants to see that happen. However, I also agree that people who deserve statues and monuments should be chosen carefully. After all, there are no Nazi statues in Germany! That would be smacked down awfully quick, don’t you think? Then we also have to consider that our heroes are not infallible. Even the Holy Bible does not condemn slavery, albeit context and cultural differences should be taken into account with great care in regards to that example. Will we be burning Bibles next? I certainly hope not. My only hope is that we all recognize that slavery is wrong, and we do not practice it anymore.

Sure, there are one or two Mom and Pop stores in town that sell Confederate rebel gear that I know of, but I won’t be on my way to throw Molotov cocktails in their windows any time soon. Instead, I choose to approach it from the most reasonable standpoint I can think of. If I come face to face with Nazis, well, they’ll receive no sympathy from me. Sorry. Am I going to start berating people with rebel flags? No, there has to be a more productive way than violence. I don’t see the flag nearly as often now as I used to anyway. Hopefully, if we keep promoting new and more positive ways of thinking, make an honest attempt to understand people’s feelings and care about them, and with a healthy dose of education, we can phase out the silliness that is clutching to an outdated symbol from a time gone by. If and when I have children of my own, I will not condone it from them either. We all look forward to having the idyllic ‘Star Trek’-esque future — let’s start by remembering a bit of time-honored wisdom: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

My advice is this: if you really want to take pride in southern heritage, why not take pride in food? There is plenty of amazing food to love and take pride in here. Shrimp and grits, for example, is a dish that is apparently native to this region, and all you have to do is speak of it and you will turn heads. Why not a good old fashioned southern dinner, with homemade fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, vegetables, and perhaps some pie for dessert? I’m just throwing darts at the board here, folks, there’s endless foods I can reference.

It’s just a street. It’s only two houses on opposite sides of the street. It’s only two yards in a multitude of samey grassy yards. But there’s a huge divide between them that is unseen, a divide representative of something intangible that part of the southern population finds to be valuable somehow, worth holding on to and clinging to. What it is, I’m still learning. For now, what I see is that, at the end of the day, we have to mow our lawns all the same. We’re all sweaty people cutting the grass, and I’m just one more person attempting to make sense of it all, in a world where I can go to the Wal-Mart and see a person giving tacit approval to Civil War slavery and the beauty of the American melting pot all in the same day.

)

Chris Anderson

Written by

Writer, critic. Affiliated with@NerdSync. Follow me @Chris_tuffer. New book coming soon! The history behind your favorite superheroes. www.realoriginsbook.com

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade