“I love you” is a good start

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Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

There are things that I have shared with people within the last few years that have helped me like nothing else has when it comes to battling fears, doubts, insecurities and so many other things that have held me back from really tapping into my true self and all my potential.

Things that I would have never imagined in a million years that I’d share with another living soul — and I’ve shared them at my Toastmasters meetings, on my podcast, on social media and right here on Medium!

You know those things that you’ve kept secret for so long…

From sportsmanship and professionalism, to humility and anger, to loss, fear and resurrection

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Being a professional baseball player is one of the proudest achievements of my life, it made me feel like a god amongst men, like I had fulfilled a destiny that was pre-ordained for me before I ever set foot on this Earth.

But, it has also made me feel like an infant among men, like a failure, and sometimes like it was more damaging than it was beneficial.

Have you ever been part of team? Whether it was in sports, in your family, at work, among your group of friends or with a significant other. Where the camaraderie was out-of-this…

Have you ever put yourself in the back-seat and let your ego do the driving?

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Photo by Noralí Emilio on Unsplash

Have you ever put yourself in the back-seat and let your ego do the driving?

We’ve all done it. Even if you’re one of those that claims “I don’t give a f*ck what other people think, I’m me.” People pleasing is on our DNA, it’s part of who we are as social human beings. We’re meant to work together, be part of a group and co-exist.

If you still think you’re one of those people that has always been yourself through and through no matter what, I want you to do something for me.

Think back to when you were…

“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.” — Oscar Wilde

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Hi mom!

I know I usually send you a sappy greeting card that makes you cry, but this year I wanted to take it a step further with a sappy blog post.

So, without further ado, this is why I believe you just may be a superhero… and if you are, why the heck have you not told me?!
You know how cool I would’ve been in school?? I would’ve never gotten picked on if kids knew you could send them to the moon with a flick of your finger.

Anyways, here goes…

First off, how the heck did you…

It means you have a penis, testosterone and more body hair

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Photo by Abby Savage on Unsplash

Hey you, what’s your definition of a man?

Is it Gaston from Beauty and The Beast?
Is it George Clooney?
Is it John Wayne?
Is it James Bond?
Is it The Rock?

Growing up as a man in this world, in a latino culture, and spending most of my life in a sports environment, this is what I learned and was taught about being a man:

You don’t cry. You don’t talk about your feelings. You toughen up and figure it out, never asking for help. You never let anyone see your weakness. You don’t ask for directions. You’re superior…

Confidence is not only reserved for superheroes

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Confidence? Where does it come from? Is it innate, is it taught? Can we strengthen it if we do have it? If we don’t have it, can we get it? Where do we get it?

No matter where it comes from, there is one relationship with it that we all have at one point or another in our lives: the lack of it.

Whether that be applying for a new job, talking to that attractive person at the other end of the bar or competing against a really talented opponent. There comes a time in all of our lives when…

How feeling and hearing can guide us better than vision

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Photo by simon sun on Unsplash

I’ve always been a big advocate of “seeing is believing”.
I think that’s why I’ have trouble believing in ghosts and believing there is this all-powerful man in the sky watching every single thing we do, making a list, checking it twice and deciding whether we get into Heaven or not — until I see it with my own eyes I can’t be certain that it exists.

Sometimes though, not seeing something doesn’t mean it’s not there.

For the past year, I’ve been part of a club called Toastmasters. …

Darkness cannot drive out darkness

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Photo by Kamesh Vedula on Unsplash

How are we filling the void?

What is the void? It’s that sense of emptiness that lingers inside us — sometimes feeling like a small grape, sometimes feeling like a 20-pound watermelon — that drags us down no matter where we go or what we do.

This back hole wreaking havoc inside of us does the same thing a black hole roaming around the universe would do: suck the light and life out of any and everything we do. …

One comes from the heart, the other does not

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Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

“Nice guys finish last because their focus on constantly pleasing others makes it impossible for them to find their own truth…” — John Kim

I’ve been reading this book recently called “I Used To Be A Miserable F*ck” by John Kim aka The Angry Therapist, a therapist who transformed into a life coach by breaking down the barriers to self-disclosure and transparency.
The book is essentially about his growth/awareness/coming of age from a man-child to a man.

There is one chapter that really caught my eye titled “Don’t Be Nice, Be Kind”. …

Our fears can be our greatest teachers

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Photo by Mathew Schwartz on Unsplash

If you know me, you know I’m a pretty calm, easy-going, silver-lining, non-confrontational type of person.

But, there is a part of me that lies beneath, that few people have seen, that waits in the shadows to make its appearance:

My angry side.

This is the side of me that I always considered bad, unnecessary, evil, a side that wasn’t really me. I would do my best to try to quell this monster whenever I felt it start to make an appearance. Defeat it with a forced smile and an ever-present, optimistic attitude.

What I didn’t realize was that in…

Christian Lopez

Becoming my best me to help you become your best you.

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