Friends

Why is it that we depend on others for happiness? Why are we so sad when people leave or forget us? I am constantly left out in the open, yet I am surrounded by “friends”. Day after day, I look back at old times, when I didn’t have a care in the world, and wish I still had that happiness and joy in my eyes. Today, people do not sincerely care about your well-being, but much rather their’s. After many dramatic breakups with friends and other drama, friendship is one of the most important things in life that I cherish. Most nights, I stay home, probably watching Netflix or listening to music, and realize that almost everyone is out with their friends, doing fun things, and socializing, while I am at home being forgotten. I thought friends were there to keep you company and want to be with you and want to know what you are up to. Today is the day after christmas or the first day of winter break. No one invited me anywhere, asked what I was doing, or reached out to me in any way. All I want is a true friendship, where we are both never lonely because we have each other and we both always look out for one another. Is a real friendship too much to ask for? Am I not putting myself out there enough to get that? My “friends” now only talk to me, give me advice, or help me when I reach out to them first. I feel like if they were a true friend, they would need me as much as I needed them.