On the Fringe of the In-crowd

Communities of not-so-like-minded people

Today’s inbox included an invitation to join the select community of writers at Medium. My emotions were mixed, as I’m aware of being late to this particular party. I have no celebrity status, nor any cult-like following.

Surprisingly, the invitation triggered bittersweet memories of high school, of living on the fringes of the in-crowd. Confused feelings about hoping to be invited (to the prom, to join a club, whatever). Yearning to be accepted, but not always comfortable with the criteria for acceptance.

Mine was a small public high school, with 120 people in my graduating class. We were clustered or “tracked” based on academic performance. I spent 6 years, from seventh grade until graduation, with the same 15 or so people in my classes. So there was no safety in anonymity, no hiding from the scrutiny, back-biting or gossiping of classmates.

Despite the fact that 80% of us would go on to attend 4-year colleges, the prevailing values were low-brow and anti-intellectual. It was not a welcoming environment for smart people. Like my classmates, I’ve come to realize, I expended a fair amount of energy trying to disguise my intellect.

Luckily, I was blessed with athletic gifts that partly compensated for the stigma of being tagged a “big brain” — the kiss of death in my high school society. I was a decent sprinter, but gifted with stellar hand-eye coordination — and a catlike ability to move through space to catch a ball before it (or I) fell to the ground. Thanks to these gifts, I played JV and varsity field hockey and basketball through high school. I played pick-up volleyball, as we had no organized team.Mine was the pre-Title IX generation when it came to athletic opportunities.

Whatever social life I enjoyed in high school was due to community bonds formed through team sports. That said, teachers and coaches were the ones who chose the team members. Who knows who would have played on those teams had it been left to high school kids to do the choosing…

In my awkward high school years, the painfully telling comment from teammates, the one that encapsulated the values of that peculiar society, was:

“You’re not so bad, for a big brain. You probably can’t help being smart.”

So what do values like these say about the larger American society? You could speculate that this kind of belief system is a contributing factor for our dysfunctional government/Congress. Or maybe the cynical view is, we have the leaders that we deserve to have.

On a more positive note, it’s heartening to see that the community of writers and readers at Medium have things to say, ideas to contemplate, and lots to share with each other. I’m flattered to have been invited to join this conversation.