Should older people be allowed to change their age?

Chuck Nyren
Nov 4 · 2 min read

I just read something dumb. Thanks to Age Sage Ronni Bennett for blogging it (and likewise realizing it was dumb):

Why older people should be allowed to change their legal age

According to the article, you’re supposed to want to be younger than you are. So if you’re in your late-sixties (like I am) I should be able to legally change my age to, say, forty-two.

But this makes zero sense to me. Not the changing your age part — but changing it so you’re younger.

How stupid is that? Even if you look pretty good for being in your late sixties, you’ll automatically look like shit if you smile and tell people you’re forty-two. They’ll feel sorry for you, think how pathetic. You’ll be the most wizened, creepy, broken-down forty-two-year-old in the world. They’ll run away, maybe be sick the rest of the day just thinking about it.

But … what if you legally change your age to ninety-two? That would actually make sense. People will be in shock, admire you, ask how you do it, want your secret. They’ll walk away amazed, in awe.

In the article, a guy wants to lawfully knock twenty years off his age so he can be honest when posting his profile on dating sites. He wants to attract younger women.

Again, this is so dumb, makes zero sense. Who would want to go out with someone who’s forty-two but looks like he’s in his sixties?

What if marriage and children are being considered? Why would a twenty/thirty-something woman, casting about for someone to have kids with, want the hoary sperm of a grizzled, ghoulish, forty-two-year-old mucking up any of her eggs? Yuck.

But … what if you legally changed your age to ninety-two? And you look like you’re in your sixties. That could impress loads of women. You’d tell them, “Have a child with me and you’ll pass along the greatest genetic gift you could give a child: perpetual youth. Don’t be selfish. Do it now.”

Of course, none of this applies to me. I’m sixty-eight but I look ninety-two. If I wanted to legally change my age to honestly deceive people, I’d have to change it to one-hundred-twenty.