Obsession — But nothing to do with that weird Beyonce movie

Within two days of discovering a new musical and openly admitting that you know all the words of every song, you start to appreciate the fact that you may have a slight problem on your hands. Obsession is a scary thing, but only really scary when it seems to attach itself to your weird and mildly fucked up interests. As someone who 100% has an obsessive personality, and I say 100%, because I mean, c’mon, I’m so bloody committed to being obsessed.

I think I have successfully alienated everyone in my life with my over the top analysis of everything I (and maybe they) enjoy. Take my interest in tennis for one, my father enjoyed watching it once upon a time, but I learned who the Top 100 players on the men’s tour were and used every available opportunity to shove it down his throat. Poor guy can’t bare to hear “Net” since.

My friends often think I hold onto useless information but I shut them down with my well-rehearsed and often used phrase, “there is no such thing as useless information, it’s just not used in the right context”. I am also a frequent user of the “embarrassment builds character” motto, but that is simply because I shame myself so regularly that it’s only fitting I have a saying up my sleeve that defends my behaviour.

Having an obsessive personality isn’t equal to OCD now mind you, its just kinda annoying. You could pass it off on your CV by declaring yourself as “passionate”, or become that friend that everyone wants on a quiz team because you know everything that happened in India between 1800 and 1909, just because.

Getting hooked on random things may seem completely harmless, but when your 3 days deep on your 4th viewing of Prison Break because you’re afraid you missed something, you know you have an issue. Now it could be worse, you could be hooked on drugs or Keeping up with the Kardashians. I’m trying to slowly use my superpowers for good, like write a really good book, really fast and become a millionaire or, start smaller, and gym like crazy and become a fabulous looking millionaire, either way positive steps must be taken.

So I’ve made a promise to myself that because I was soooo invested in the Aus Open tennis and I didn’t like the way things ended for Roger (blast you Djokovic), I may stop watching tennis for a while. Like I mean just not watch the smaller tournaments, ya I’m not like the guys who eat the strawberries and act like Wimbledon is the only tournament of the year, I am the other end of the spectrum.

So watch this space, or don’t, because it’s not like I will be obsessively seeking yer approval or anything… o wait.