Aimless and Powerful
August 2, 2016 10:14 PM
Aimless and Powerful.
I couldn’t get out of the shower. I was sitting down as the water poured coldly over me. Staring blindly at the candle on the corner of the tub, I was entirely mesmerized and couldn’t look away — but I wasn’t seeing it. I was thinking of you and us, and somehow one (or both) of those felt connected to the aimless and powerful flame.
Last night I got drunk on the power I imagined I had over you as I watched you touch yourself — in my mind — you were vigorously thinking of me. The smile that played on my lips was disgustingly full of sexual manipulation and pride. I wanted to have that power forever, but like the flame, because I tried to grasp it with my wet hand — it was gone too quickly.
And yet here I sit — staring at the flame, wet running all over me — and it’s still burning. Aimless and powerful.
I’m long past needing to get out. I didn’t even manage to shower. I sat as soon as I got in, but I couldn’t get up or get out. Turning off the water meant blowing out the flame — but that seemed too daunting a task. Too meaningful in some way and I couldn’t do it.
I promised myself I would wait ’til the song on the radio was over — but each one after the next felt more fitting. The flame seemed to dance along — aimless and powerful.
I finally turned off the water, I didn’t even notice the sensual way the water trailed off my body — I would have last night.
I walked out of the bathroom, left it burning. Thinking, maybe it will still be there tomorrow