The Dark Side

It’s not like I believe in people. I don’t.

Just sometimes. It feels like I don’t care about them, I don’t mind whatever happens to their lives. A moment, just a moment of pure selfishness and indifference. Usually, it starts in the morning — I feel it because I seek for black, when I dress up, make up. And I know: I’ll stay quite, I won’t speak if it isn’t required, I won’t do anything but work. Usually, it doesn’t last all day long. It fades away when I see: a children, a smile, a good action.

So a couple of days ago, I was thinking about this feeling, which surely is part of our dark side. Every time I receive something good from others, when I get up this bad, I start feeling better, enjoying my day. That, I think, is a matter of everybody. Maybe all those people who we think are bad — which are not, because we cannot be bad, we can do bad — have just received nothing good. Or too little, for their needs.

When I was in highschool, a teacher said to me that people go to heaven if others pray for them. They can pray as much as they want, if nobody’s looking for God’s blessing on them, it won’t be paradise. As well, if they don’t pray but someone do it for them, they can reach heaven’s door in grace. I thought it was stupid — I had a lot of people praying for me, I should have gone to paradise even if I didn’t trust in God? But now I can see a sort of true, behind these words: if you do something good for a person, you make that person better. Good actions lead to good actions.

It can be heaven, at least, on Earth — Oh, well, maybe not Heaven. A better place.

I was going to do cookies, speaking about the dark side — just because of Star Wars — but I did what is a dark side for me. I use desserts as a way to describe feelings, like a form of art, the sweetest of all. And what I think is better, this time, are moka cupcakes. Chocolate and coffee make their taste strong, the opposite of the dream flavour of lemon cupcakes. There’s no childhood here, but the bitterness of adulthood, when life starts to be hard, light more and more difficult to keep and we just have the time…

… for a little, comforting break.

Moka Cupcakes Recipe

You will bake about 20 medium sized cupcakes

What you need — for the cupcakes

• 120 g room temperature butter [ 1/2 cup ] • 120 g caster sugar [ 2/3 cup ] • 120 g dark chocolate chips [ about 1 cup ] • 4 eggs, yolks and whites separated • 100 g espresso coffee [ 1/2 cup ] • 280 g flour [ 2 cups ] • 2 tsp of baking powder

What you need — for the icing

• 100 g dark chocolate chips [ 2/3 cup ] • 50 g room temperature butter [ 1/4 cup ] • 100 g milk cream [ 1/2 cup ] • 1/2 tsp freeze-dried coffee

What you have to do

Preheat the oven to 180°C [ 356°F ].

Put the butter in a bowl and cream it together with the caster sugar, using electric whisk. Melt the chocolate in a water bath (NB: you should never put chocolate directly on the cooker, nor in the microwave) and add to the batter. Add egg yolks one by one and continue whisking until you have a soft cream. Add espresso coffee the same way.

Whisk egg whites separately.

Now add a little part of whisked whites, stir gently and add a part of flour sieved together with the baking powder. Continue alternating egg whites and flour until you finish them. NB. You have to start and stop with the egg whites and you have to stir the less you can: it will make your batter softer.

Spoon the batter into muffin cases and bake for about 20 minutes.

Meanwhile…

Heat the cream milk up to boiling and add the freeze-dried coffee. Put the chocolate chips in a bowl, together with chopped butter. Add the hot cream milk and stir until chocolate and butter are melted and you have an homogeneous ganache (it will result glossy and without lumps).

Just drop the icing on the cupcakes in order to cover them.

Let cool down at room temperature and…

… Eat the dark side before the dark side eats you!

PS. I know this recipe is kind the same of the lemon cupcakes one, but it has to be. They were born together, from my desire to show this contrast, our contrast. I think they can express themselves better than my words — there’s a reason if I’m a baker and not a writer!

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