A strange thing happens when you start blogging on the internet. You feel like you’re sending your thoughts out into the void — your little dating anecdotes, travel stories, inconsequential opinions about things — and then occasionally the void startles you by talking back.
I’m always amazed that people take the time to respond to a blog I’ve written. Not just the ones who troll me on Twitter or Instagram, because insulting a non-famous stranger obviously scratches some sort of weird itch. The ones who search for my email address and spend more than ten seconds writing me a personal email. Some of these are quite lovely, and make me feel that I too should track down bloggers and let them know how much their words resonated.
Then there are the strangers asking for photos of my feet.
I’ve recently learned that if you google “tickle fetishists”, my name comes up first. Not because I am a tickle fetishist, mind you — not that there’s anything wrong with that — but because back in August I wrote a post about answering an ad on Craigslist looking for someone to tickle.
How I Stumbled Upon the World of Tickle Fetishists
Where tickling is no laughing matter
The post came and went without much fanfare — even though it was curated under sexuality, few people read it at the time. Fast forward a few months, and it has quietly racked up 8,000 views, earning me a sum total of… $4. Tickle fetishists are clearly not Medium’s target audience (hence I don’t make any money when they read my article).
But apparently that is not the only way one can pay the bills as a writer, because then the offers started flooding my inbox — well, truthfully it was more like a trickle.
Although I was clear in the original post that I hadn’t actually taken up the position of being tickled, Bob on the internet decided it was because I was worth MUCH more than 30 Euros an hour.
“I would have paid you at least three times that if you are really as ticklish as you say you are! And, just as a bonus, if it went well, I would have my female satisfaction toys with me to give you an awesome climax afterwards!”
A bonus orgasm — what a champ! (Ah, pretty sure ‘female satisfaction toy’ is not the technical term, Bob.)
But then I made the startling discovery there is a far more lucrative side hustle than renting myself out for tickles, and that is spruiking photos of my feet! Had I only known about such a career path when I was down and out in Paris…
In case you’re wondering, the going rate is 30 GBP which, given the current state of the Australian dollar, is quite a tidy little sum for the amount of labour involved. But I had questions. So many questions:
- Is that 30 pounds per foot per photo?
- Could I charge him for two separate photos with one foot in each, thus making 60 pounds?
- If he didn’t specify bare feet, would he ask for a refund if they were shod?
- Would he be able to tell if I sent him pictures of a more willing friend’s feet (and we split the profits)?
- Would it be unethical to send him a Google Image of feet?
- Would I need to declare my foot-related income for tax purposes?
- For that matter, why am I asssuming it’s a man?
I ultimately said no (too much paperwork!), but I did wonder what my tipping point was — 100 dollars? 1,000? 10,000? It’s just a casual foot photo, after all.
So if you have some decent foot pics lying around the house, gathering dust, and you’re thinking it would be a shame to throw them out, hit me up and I reckon I can place them in a good home. It may not exactly be a get-rich-quick scheme but at least you’ll be giving someone a lot of — ahem — pleasure.