The Best Kind of Woman.
Confident, Flawsome, Present = Generous/BEST
Yesterday I had an encounter with “the best kind of woman.” I had not seen her in years; we are not close friends, our interactions have always been in the context of business. Within minutes I was aware that I was in the presence of — to choose a label, “the best kind of woman.” If I were a mother of daughters this would be a lesson I would teach.
The best kind of woman is confident. She knows who she is, and by extension who she is not. She gives little thought to being perfect — a time waster. She is present in where she is right now.
These three attributes have a magic chemistry.
From her confidence, and self-acceptance flows a natural generosity towards all, but in particular to other women. She may sense that women need it more. She knows the value of taking the time to give a sincere compliment to a friend or a perfect stranger. A surprised smile may be the immediate payback, but she knows that fueled by her comment a surge in happiness or confidence will radiate as they move through their day.
She is happy to share her knowledge or provide an introduction — sharing “her people.” She understands a network is enriched as you add others to it, connect them and let them, “talk amongst themselves.” She recognizes knowledge is not a scarce resource and sharing it helps fuel new ideas.
Because she isn’t fixated on “perfect” she is “awesome” or as a new friend suggested to me, “Flawsome” which may be even better! She spends little energy chasing the illusion of perfect, plays to her strengths, accepts herself and puts the energy that would have been wasted in the pursuit of perfection elsewhere. Because she isn’t striving for perfect she isn’t looking for it in you. There is no judgment in her words or the way she looks at people.
In this world where busy people and non-busy people have become distracted slaves to electronic devices and overstuffed schedules when she is with you — she is with you. There is no multi-tasking here. If a device goes off, or someone comes by to hurry her along she is almost oblivious, staying with you for the time you have together.
So, if I had a daughter, I would model for her confidence and nurture it in her. I would let her hear me pay sincere and thoughtful compliments rather than pass on juicy gossip. I would try to model “Flawsome.” and help her understand that “perfect” is the enemy of much more than “the good.” And when we were together, I would look at her, and listen, and let her see me doing that with others. She would know what it felt like to feel like the most important person in the world.
Alas — I am a mother of boys. I hope they will take something from these lessons. And as they grow they will meet a “best kind” of young woman. I am grateful for the number of “best kind” that cross my path — I am blessed with them. And in writing this I am reminded….I was raised by one. How lucky am I!