Firebreak

noun

  1. a strip of plowed or cleared land made to check the spread of a prairie or forest fire.

Haters. Fuck ’em, right? Nah, don’t. They’re poor babies. You know how they make you feel, when you get triggered? That’s how they feel all the fucking time. Don’t get triggered.

Seriously, what the fuck? Don’t get triggered. I’ll trigger you just to show you the error of your ways. How the hell are you gonna have a trigger that some random dumbass can just roll up and pull?

You know they’re out there, the haters, burning away. And if you’re flammable, they’ll set you the fuck aflame. That’s why you need to be a firebreak. Clear yourself of flammable material. Roast yourself if you have to.

Repeat after me: I will not burn. I will not burn.

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Here comes lil Joey Blazin,’ oh shit! he’s fuckin’ pissed!

“Hey, you fucking cunt faggot ass dyke whore nigger tranny wench motherfucking cocksucker piece of shit faggot, fuck your whole goddamn family! fuck your life! I’ll split your stupid fucking head open with my dick then rape your body til the fuckin’ crows show up then i’ll…” he’s running out of breath.

“Holy shit, dude, nice speech. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

You are, motherfucker! You’re what’s wrong with the fuckin’ world. You should fucking kill yourself and spare us all your worthless, detrimental ass life.”

“I’m not gonna kill myself. I like being alive.”

“You don’t fucking deserve to be. You don’t deserve shit. You’re fucking nothing!”

Laugh. “Dear lord you’re fucking mad. Are you OK?”

Panting. “Fuck you, bitch. God, fuck you.”

Hit ’em with a sassy smile.

“I SWEAR TO GOD, MOTHERFUCKER.”

Roll eyes. “Bitch, you don’t fuckin’ know me. You don’t fuckin’ know shit about me. Don’t act like you fuckin’ do.”

“I know enough to know that your fuckin’ worthless and we’d all be better off if you were fuckin’ dead.”

“Can you elaborate on that, please?”

“You’re a [insert maligned group here]. You [insert stereotype/hateful belief].”

Sigh. “No. That’s not true. Don’t say that kind of shit. For fuck’s sake, dude, the fuck you trying to accomplish right now?”

“Fuck you, bitch. Burn in hell.” He flips you off and walks away.

Watch him leave for a couple seconds. “Wow, that fuckin’ sucked. That guy’s a fuckin’ menace.” Call up Conrad on your phone. “Yo, Conrad, I just talked to this ridiculous ass hater, he was fuckin’ livid, you shoulda seen this idiot, hahaa.”

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“Words are wind” (Martin). Don’t let them fan the flames.