¡HEY LOPEZ!

true story .

I was invited to a gathering.

A family gathering to be precise.

(friend’s family)

I mingled,

greeted cordially.

was tapped from behind -

I turned.

A man EXCLAIMED:

“HEY LOPEZ!”

I replied:

Hey MAN!

I shook his hand and walked away.

I knew some family,

not all.

A chat with a sister and mother,

I did hold.

When from behind:

a SHOUT:

“YOOO LOPEZ!”

I turn -

Quickly approach the man

and retort:

HEY!

will you cut it with the freakin’ LOPEZ?! that is not my NAME.

the man grows kinder,

mumbled then stumbled,

says: (verbatim)

“Hey man I’m sorry,

“ *hiccup* You know us white folk like to associate things we see on TV with things in real life *hiccup*”

the man was clearly inebriated -

I backed-off and deflated.

I assured him:

NO! it’s ok,

I und -

(I am interrupted mid word)

friend interjected: (verbatim)

‘PLEASE don’t say “ us white folk”,

you’re bundling.

it’s YOU,

not us.

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