4 Reasons I didn’t post anything on MLK Day (and why maybe you shouldn’t have, either.)
Every January (and again a few weeks later, during Black History Month), I see White people everywhere share lots of memes on all the socials about their favorite quotes by the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I get where their hearts are at: they like the idea of MLK’s dream, they want to live in a world where everyone knows peace (theoretically, at least) and intellectually, they hate the idea of racism.
They’d like to think they don’t have a racist bone in their body, but the truth is more complicated than that — it’s probably more accurate to say that their prefrontal cortex and their hearts don’t want to be racist, but their bodies and their lizard brains have a different idea.
But that’s a whole ‘nother story.
Anyway, as a Certified White Person who is also an author, consultant and coach whose work lands me squarely in the realms of anti-oppression, it would make sense that I would be posting like crazy on the day we remember this great and complicated human we call MLK, Jr.
But as a White woman, I stayed silent, for good reason.
Here are four reasons why I didn’t post on MLK day, and what I did instead.
#1 / MEMES ARE MEANINGLESS
If I had to pick just one, I’d go with this first one right here.
While your social media post may indeed indicate that you know who MLK was or that you like a particular quote, it doesn’t mean that you actually live your life according to his work, or actively participate in creating the world he dreamed of.
I’ve said it before: White people love the part where he talks about his dream of little White kids and little Black kids holding hands into the sunset.
But we don’t always love the confrontational ways in which he called out the White capitalist war machine, the growing wealth gap, and the ways Whiteness continued its oppressive grip on BIPOC.
Even when his work ultimately would have freed us all, we resist the notion that the tiny little piece of American pie we have may be ours because of privilege rather than our own exceptional talent and ability.
Even when the truth of his teaching would liberate us all, we choose instead to work against our own interests and believe the mega-rich when they tell us that Black people just want to take away what White people have.
Even when his work would protect young White bodies from being torn apart in the ravages of war, we resist him because he wanted to save Black bodies too.
The truth is that if you’re White, the bulk of MLK’s work probably would have terrified you if he were alive and speaking it today.
#2 / YOUR MEME DOES HARM
If you’re not actively living out the ideals that MLK taught — and trust me when I say they absolutely need to be embodied — then posting your fave quote of the day does actual harm, because it waters down what the activist was actually trying to do, turning it into a soft marshmallow thrown at the great monolith that is White power.
The problem there is that marshmallows are not the tools you use to dismantle structural oppression. They are too soft and mushy and blend in nicely with Whiteness.
To dismantle oppression we need the hammers of truth, the sharp blades of holistic self-reflection, and the embodied activism that gets in the streets and gets out the vote.
I can scroll through my social media feed and see a bunch of memes posted by people who have actively resisted my own work, never mind the work of BIPOC who have picked up where MLK’s work tragically ended when he was assassinated.
Whether they were on a team I consulted with or are an acquaintance on my friend list, I’ve seen people who a few months ago, for example, railed at me saying they didn’t have time to read more books by BIPOC but yesterday posted a meme saying White people need to do better.
But how can we do better if we refuse to actually read the words MLK left us, or the work of his prodigies?
For every marshmallow meme you post that keeps your White friends just comfortable enough but not so uncomfortable that they’ll actually pick up their own hammer, your meme reduces the work of MLK to a Hallmark card holiday — something created to make the White folks feel the warm and fuzzies. Nothing more.
The reason this does harm is because as long as we White people feel all warm and fuzzy, the less likely we are to do anything to create structural change that’s ours to create. As a demographic, we’re really good at throwing marshmallows without ever really cleaning up the mess we leave behind. In other words, we are really good at focusing on the wrong things, deflecting responsibility, and posting memes instead of doing actual work. And when it comes to things like structural oppression, we are very often the only ones who can make this change.
#3 / IT’S NOT OUR DAY
One of the things we White people are famous for is taking a whole lot of everything that’s not ours.
While I believe that MLK was absolutely fighting for the liberation of all of us, the particularities of his work centered Black people and Black struggles.
Of course it is paramount that White people recognize, celebrate, and learn from the work that he did, but that doesn’t mean we need to center ourselves with memes that use his good work to demonstrate our own goodness. (I’ll talk more about this type of virtue signaling in the next point.)
We love to take up space, and the idea that maybe a conversation doesn’t need a White perspective is enough to get our individualistic panties in a bunch.
Nothing pisses off Whiteness more than telling it that right here in the land of free speech that its opinion may not be wanted or needed.
The world doesn’t need to know what Whiteness thought of MLK. That was made clear when it killed him.
What the world absolutely does need is more Black and Brown voices and the spaces for them to be heard. I had nothing of value to add to the conversation on MLK Day that my BIPOC friends couldn’t say or do better and more appropriately. The insistence that you get to say whatever you want whenever you want is not only childish, it’s a key tenet of racist White pseudosupremacy.
We’ve taken so much from Black people already — everything from twerking to body image (when it’s convenient) to labor and wealth to hair styles, just to name a few — perhaps we can just let them have their liberative icons without having to stake our social media claim on them (especially if we’re going to reject those liberative ideologies in the most meaningful ways).
#4 / VIRTUE SIGNALING IS GROSS
This is something we tend to do often — to use our proximity to Blackness to demonstrate our inherent goodness. Because MLK is a public figure, we can claim to love him and thereby be absolved of any hint that we ourselves might be racist. Just like using our Black beloved to somehow prove that we are Totally Not Racist™, we’re tokenizing Dr. King by using him to signal an anti-racism that we might not be living out in real life.
There’s more here, though. Because we progressives tend to be really self-aware (a-hem), I’ve noticed a subtle shift among a good portion of my friends.
Now, instead of just a meme and a quote, there’s also the understated humble-brag of a good deed well done.
These usually go something along the lines of, I’m looking for a great place to volunteer with the kids for MLK day…any suggestions? Or “What’s your favorite Black business? Looking to spend some dollars at a Black business to celebrate MLK day.”
Now I get that you may be thinking, “Hey, isn’t this whole post a big signal of alleged virtue?” and you wouldn’t be wrong. My work as a public theologian and thought leader…
(both of those titles make me really uncomfortable, but I once saw someone call themselves a “thinkologist” and I just can’t even with that kind of bullshit so we’ll just go with this for now but really I’m more just like a person who needs to verbally process her inner weirdness…and virtue signal to you how completely insecure I am with my public platform by inserting this italicized paragraph so you don’t think that I think I’m hot shit or anything…)
…puts me squarely in the danger zone of some serious self-righteous bullshit and I always dance lightly on the balance beam between that and some actual, real, liberative work.
So let’s just agree to agree that I’m probably an asshole too, and talk about how this type of virtue signaling is problematic.
First, you don’t need to tell the world about your really good anti-racist deeds unless your real motivation is more about making you feel good than it is about actually dismantling structural racism.
Second, I’m glad you’ve moved from just posting a meme to actually doing something. Embodied action is good and required. But let’s really think about how much of a difference your donated Saturday afternoon is really going to make in the grand scheme of things. Does it teach your kids some valuable lessons? Maybe. That depends on the context (another whole ‘nother story). Does it make you feel good? Probably. Does it serve a real need? It might. But does it change anything long term?
Probably not. So the question then becomes what can you do in the world that will create structural change?
Finally, if you’re only volunteering or spending your dollars at Black businesses one day a year…
…you’re really nothing more than a metaphorical tourist in the world of anti-racism…
…headed back to the land of Caucasia as soon as things get a bit too dicey over here on the front lines.
If you’re not intentionally looking for ways to spend your dollars in Black businesses on the regular (without posting about it), and if you’re not normally working toward disrupting racism at your dinner table as well as in the public sphere, and if you only quote MLK publicly but never let him confront you privately, in the landscape of your own inner psyche, then you’re missing an important of what it means to be an anti-racist.
WHAT TO DO INSTEAD
Real systemic change can’t happen until White people decide to not be White anymore.
Of course by this, I don’t mean we need to miraculously change the color of our skin or use boatloads of self-tanner.
But I do mean we need to divest ourselves of some of the power and privileges of Whiteness — and that process begins by examining our own inner worlds.
Before posting, you might want to journal some responses to the following questions, first. Then you can decide if you can post in integrity — and more importantly, if there is another more impactful action you can take.
- Have I really studied the fullness of MLK’s work? Do I know not just what he said about race, but also what he said about poverty, war, and capitalism? Am I willing to live into the fullness of these ideologies? Why or why not?
- How willing am I (really) to embody the ideologies and the theologies of MLK and other Black liberation theologies?
- Do I live out the ideologies of anti-racism in my everyday life? Why or why not? How can I do this more?
- What is my motivation for posting MLK quotes (and similar material) on my social media page? What do I get from it? How is it helpful?
- How can I more fully embody and anti-racist existence, and what tools do I have at my disposal that I can use to fight structural oppression?
If you enjoyed this post, you might really love my FREE MASTER CLASS: SHOWING UP WHITE: Things White Leaders Do That Perpetuate White PseudoSupremacy (And How To Stop). It’s coming soon, so join my mailing list to find out when it’s available, or find me at www.kerryconnelly.com.
And while you’re at it, check out my books,
Good White Racist? Confronting Your Role in Racial Injustice
and
Wait, Is This Racist? A Guide to Becoming an Anti-Racist Church
