Bill, Bubbles, & The Climber:

I’m sure this title caught your eye right off the bat…’quite the trio’ you’re probably thinking. You’re also probably wondering where the heck I could possibly be going with this. Well a few months ago, I had the opportunity to take a spontaneous weekend trip out West. If you know me, you know that the word ‘spontaneous’ is not something that often enters my vocabulary. The fact that I decided to make a last minute trip out West is in itself a big deal. Me…a person who abides by her schedule ALWAYS, and who gets nervous sweats whenever something new takes her out of her routine. This was a big deal that I was rather proud of & a trip that I was really looking forward to…because deep down, I knew that I needed it.

And so I had a very specific, focused game-plan (the coach in me cannot seem to help it). The game-plan was quite simple…to connect with myself by disconnecting from everyone else. I told my mom, the one person who I talk with on a daily basis, my plan. I informed her quite matter-of-factly that I would text her when I landed at my destination and would call her upon my return. I explained in a rather zen-like (or wanna-be zen-like) fashion that I was aiming for a ‘silent’ trip of self-discovery in which I was to be without any type of connection to anyone I knew. I took it one step further (feeling very wise at this point, my inner desire to be the Dalai Lama really coming out) and told her that I planned to speak the BARE minimum to anyone…I would only converse if it was absolutely necessary. I wanted to be completely on my own; I was confident that the natural introvert in me would be fully recharged and revitalized after 60 hours of silence and self-connection with Me, Myself, and I. Well after 60 hours, I learned this was not the case…the original plan of ‘me, myself, and I’ was turned on its side as soon as I took my seat on the plane outbound. Over the course of 60 hours ‘Me, Myself, and I’ became ‘Bill, Bubbles, and The Climber’ and I could not be more thankful for the change of plans that helped changed my perception of what self-connection and discovery is really about.

BILL: My Weekend GPS Who Got Me Started

I sat down on the plane having successfully accomplished my goal of silence for a whopping 3 minutes before it was interrupted by a man seated next to me. The man was an older gentleman, probably in his sixties, and politely asked what I was reading. While he asked the question, I found myself slightly annoyed that I had only lasted 3 minutes before having to speak, but then I looked up to find someone who in fact seemed genuinely interested. He was smiling and making direct eye contact…how could I be annoyed with such a sincere question from such a friendly face? I smiled back and provided the title, to which he prodded further in wanting to know what it was about. I explained the basis of the book and its connection to my personal interests. This man, completely engaged in what I was saying, continued to ask more about myself and background. As I talked about myself, I realized I was excited to share with this man because he was actually listening! So many times I encounter people who ask questions just to ask them…as if asking the questions are simply items on a check-list. It was refreshing to be sharing myself and ideas with a complete stranger who was asking out of legitimate interest. After talking for probably too long, I wanted to know his story. So I asked him. His reaction to that was priceless…I could see the same excitement I had felt just moments ago, show in his face. Which reminded me of a very simple, yet important, reality. That reality is that everybody wants to feel valued and that their story matters. Everybody wants someone to ask them ‘what book are you reading?’

We continued to talk the rest of the trip. I told him my weekend plan of exploring without any agenda. He, being a local, gave me some great suggestions of sites to check out. In fact, this man was able to provide me with turn-by-turn directions from my hotel to each location. He gave me enough to do for an entire week! I told him I would try to get in as much as I could and that I would follow his directions as my guide for the entire weekend. He was so delighted to hear this…that he was such a help and contributor to my special weekend. We exchange business cards and he asked that I send him an email when I returned home the following week. I promised that I would…knowing that I would be more than happy to share my experiences with someone who was as sincerely interested as he was.

We landed a few hours later and I realized my original plan of silence had been non-existent, as we chatted the entire trip. We both got off the plane and walked together to the carousel. When it came time to go our separate ways, I was kind of sad to lose my new friend who I had learned a lot about over the course of the last three hours. Something told me he felt the same way. Thanks to my new buddy Bill, I was equipped with a weekend’s worth of activities…but more importantly, I was given reaffirmation that people connect in great ways when they share their stories with each other. Bill if you happen to read this, please let me know the next time you make the drive out to the antique malls in Ohio…I would love to do dinner with you and your wife!

BUBBLES: Slow Down Sweetie!

I followed Bill’s directions (they were perfect by the way) from the airport to my hotel. I didn’t even turn on my phone because of the trust I had in my new-found friend who knew my story and vice versa. As I pulled onto the street of my hotel, I saw this really cool looking diner. It was 11:30pm and I would normally go straight to my hotel and hit the sack but this was my weekend of spontaneity…so why not? I pulled into the diner and walked through the neon-lit door. Completely out of my element, I stood at the counter and ordered myself a strawberry milkshake...the rebel in me was really coming out now! The girl who took my order was short & round, and absolutely fabulous. Her personality, especially for a woman working night shift in an empty diner, was well...very bubbly. I laughed to myself when I glanced at her name tag to find that her name was in fact, Bubbles (not sure if it’s her birth name or not but it definitely fits her). Bubbles took my order, called me ‘sweetie’ then asked me ‘where the fire was.’ I was really confused upon this question and obviously looked perplexed, as she laughed and told me to ‘relax and have a seat, honey!’

I sat down because Bubbles told me to and something told me that people do what Bubbles says around these parts. She made me one of the best strawberry milkshakes I have ever had…and we got to talking. I came to find out that she was from Cleveland, Ohio…my girl from northeast O-H-I-O! We talked about LeBron and how even though we do still ‘love him,’ we will never get over how he left us for Miami (OH sports fans get what I’m talking about). While LeBron talk is always entertaining, what I hope you really caught in that last sentence was my use of ‘us’. We automatically became an ‘us’ when we both learned we were from northeast Ohio.

After our bond of LeBron and hoops, she shared her story (thanks to Bill, I asked her to share and was genuinely interested). I came to find that Bubbles was from a rough area in East Cleveland and came out here because she didn’t want to be ‘stuck.’ She said that “out here, I can explore…I can get out and do things…I feel free.” By this point, I was a huge Bubbles fan. She had me at ‘LeBron.’ So to hear that, made me both happy and sad for her at the same time. Happy that she had the courage to come out this far on her own and leave what she knew in hopes of something more. But sad that she is out here on her own, and that her home is a place she fears she could have gotten ‘stuck’ in. It made me wonder about her family back home, sad to think that they may be ‘stuck.’ I felt a twinge of pain shoot through me as I pictured this…a family ‘stuck’ and wanting to feel free, just as Bubbles was able to. This pain I felt was because I listened to her story; I had connected with Bubbles. I had taken the time to ‘have a seat’ because there was no fire…there were just two Ohioans talking hoops and family in an empty diner at 12am on a Friday night. And to be honest, there is nothing else at that point I would have rather been doing. I am thankful for Bubbles…telling me to slow down, enjoy my delicious strawberry milkshake and the company that comes with it. By slowing down, I was able to experience what we call empathy. I was able to feel for and with another person whom I had just met…that feeling of empathy is what makes the human connection truly incredible and worth every second of slowing down for. I hope you’re feeling ‘free’ and as bubbly as ever, Bubbles.

THE CLIMBER: Keep Going

I was out hiking on the Sunday of my trip when I stopped to find a man climbing up the side of a mountain. It was insanely hot and sunny, not a cloud in the sky. I was a sweaty mess, but the athlete in me was enjoying it thoroughly. I looked up and couldn’t imagine how hot and sweaty the climber must be. I stood there and watched him for quite awhile, intrigued by every movement he made. He struggled immensely but never stopped moving, constantly searching and finding a way to progress forward. There were times when he misjudged his step and slipped; there were times when he had to re-route his path upward. But one thing he never did, not once, was stop and look down. He was so fully engrossed in what he was doing, in his struggle and progress, that he had no excess time or energy to waste on looking at how far he had come. It wasn’t about what he had done, it was all about what he was doing right then and there to get him to his final destination…the top. He was 100% physically and mentally focused on any actions that would aide in his progress. There was no wasted energy at all…every movement was geared towards his climb upward. The slow, painstaking progress he made…piece by piece, inch by inch…was an absolute struggle. But again…he never stopped to look down nor did he stop to remind himself of how hard it was. He used every resource he had at his disposal: body, mind, and physical tools.

Watching The Climber was an absolute inspiration. I didn’t have to listen to his story feel a connection. I watched his story through his actions, through his struggle and his commitment to the climb. He shared his story with me without even realizing it, just by being him. I am so thankful for the Climber I witnessed that day…he reminded me that any place worth getting to, any progress worth making, requires struggle. Not only does it require struggle, it requires that all energies be focused on the here and now…that we be fully present in our progress. We cannot look back on how far we’ve come…we cannot pause and consider how ‘hard’ our climb is. There is no time and energy to waste, we must invest everything we have in our journey upward. We may slip a few times, we may have to find new routes, but we must keep going.

Bill, Bubbles, and The Climber completely sabotaged ‘Me, Myself, and I.’ They uprooted my ingenious plan of connection through dis-connection, my trip of ‘silence’ and ‘self-discovery,’ and I could not be any more grateful for that. What I learned from these three incredible people is not only the importance of sharing stories, empathy, and perseverance through struggle…I learned that self-connection and personal discovery is not necessarily ‘all about you.’ And it doesn’t always require that you dis-connect from everything and everyone else around you. I learned that self-connection varies day by day and very rarely involves just ‘me, myself, and I.’ Self-connection and discovery ultimately come down to what you need right now…and oftentimes what you need in order to learn and connect with yourself, are others. You need people. You need to listen and to witness the stories of others, to empathize and feel with others, to be inspired by others. There are times when we need our silence and just ourselves. But what I realized while on my trip, especially after watching the Climber, is that nobody can reach the top of their mountain alone…even the Climber had a spotter at the base of the mountain that day, giving him support as he struggled upward on his own personal journey of self-connection and discovery.

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Thanksgiving is upon us…and I could not be any more grateful for the people in my life who I’ve shared stories with, who I’ve empathized with, and who have inspired me. Thank You for supporting me as I climb my mountain each day and struggle upward, inch by inch.