Attachment and Emotions

I woke up from a dream of my brother. I was hugging him and telling him that I wanted to take him out to spend some quality time. It was sweet.

I miss him so much. This sadness never gets filled or goes away.

It made me think about attachment. I went through most of my life not really emotionally attached to material things or life events. It’s tempting to detach and be numb than to feel pain. The more you’re attached, the more you care, the higher chance you’ll feel the negative emotions.

Heck, it’s kinda scary to be this emotionally attached to Felix now. A vulnerable thought — what if I lose him somehow, someday? Like something happens to him. These scary thoughts do have some shelf life.

Feeling grief, sadness, hurt, anger are…well, not as comfortable as feeling happiness and gratitude.

On my journey of healing, I realized that these emotions are bubbling beneath my heart, asking for attention. Only when I am brave enough to dive deep, truly feel them is when they can heal and be released.

It’s a life process. I’m continually allowing myself to embrace trust, to cry, be sad, to miss, to feel upset.

Because doing good is easy. Feeling…is not as easy but it’s what makes me human.