Restlessness

Ever feel restless? like…your soul is restless…where you can’t pinpoint why or where this bubbling underneath is coming from. A tinge on edge, impatient, searching..

I’ve been feeling soul restlessness for a few weeks now.

I talked to my friend about it, she offered a solution- “Travel”, she said. Tempting…tempting.

There’s this stimulation that I’m craving. But this time, I don’t think travel will solve it. No, this is much deeper — I need to sit with this one.

I still have my luscious sessions with my healer — I tried “solutions” -yoga, gardening, breathing deeper, organizing the home, gratitude…

Then out of no where, last night during our dinner, I felt like crying. It wanted to come up through my body. Felix held me and encouraged me to cry. I didn’t know why or where it came from. He said that I didn’t need to.

It felt so good. After I gave my heart what it needed, I felt better.

I asked myself if it’s related to trying (baby), family, work, etc..

I don’t have any answers yet — maybe I don’t need to. After so long of holding it together, allowing myself these moments to be vulnerable and crumble — feels good. Man, emotions know what they want.

Since I allowed myself to cry, the restlessness became quieter. Not sure how it’ll shape up but maybe this is one that my problem-solving self can sit out.

Maybe standing still and showing up is enough.