I have been there. But I’d be damned if I go back again….
I don’t think anyone had or is having the perfect life. I mean sometime’s someone could have everything they could ever imagine but they lack self-love and imagine how’s that impacting their lives. Or they could be the perfect son to a horrible father… Another person could be very creative but lacked the peer motivation and that just shut them down. If you’re reading this know that nobody has the perfect life. Maybe it seems like it, but trust me there are things that aren’t visible to you but it controls their whole lives.
Depression… Oh yes, I have been there and I hated every second of it. I can’t quite remember it specifically because I did try my best to blur the memories out. But I do remember how painful it was… Not only mentally but physically as well. This may be too much to share but once in my life I used to sleep for over 13 hours s day and because of my sleep I lacked the time to eat well. So eventually I became very pale and weak. I had to walk with hands on wall for support because I couldn’t stand still…I also remember the numbness I felt. Everything else isn’t even on the map because basically I felt nothing. Like I was in a circle of nothingness and it repeats everyday; Over and over again.
It is a serious condition but there is a way out. We think that because we’re in a dark tunnel we should just hope for the light at the end… we have forgotten that we are the light itself. It may take a long time until you realize it; but you create the thoughts in your mind not the other way around.
What you need to do is stop isolating yourself from everyone else. I am not asking you to forcibly be social with everyone.. God knows you can’t stand anyone around you and “your mind” is telling you that no one else can’t stand being around you as well..
You need to stop blaming yourself for every little thing that has happened in your life. Whether it was your fault of not.. Take control even in the wrong things that you have done. The time that you stop victimizing yourself is the time that you’ll set yourself free and take charge of your life.
You need to work really hard to find something.. anything that could fill your spared time.. Obviously you have plenty of that.. Get busy… Read, write, draw, paint, run walk, swim, jump, meditate, sing….. Just find something that keeps you busy.
If you have at least one person in your life let them know.. If somehow you can’t share your feelings with them. Let them boost you up. Ask them to always let you know how good you are, how a great person you can be and so on.. Sometimes words from people that we care about could truly change our perspectives.
Depression is a serious illness… It’s not just ‘feeling down’.. So you need to seriously work hard if you truly realized that you are depressed. You need to work against yourself for yourself. I realize how tempting it is to run away from everything and just lay in bed for hours.. For me, The feeling of numbness was addicting I took every excuse out there not to see anyone or do anything and just stay in bed as long as I could… Thinking about it now makes me sick. Because I just hated it.
It’s not a weakness.. It’s a disease and needs to be treated.
Symptoms:
- Lack of interest in anything and everything
- Hopelessness
- Loss of social interests. >Shutting people out(Friends/Family)
- Weight loss
- Weight gain
- Trouble falling asleep/sleeping way too much
- Lack of energy
The sooner that you realize your condition the faster that you are able to cure it. Yes, awareness is important. Once you are aware of your state of mind I promise you, you do have the ability to change it. It is not the end. you are able to save yourself from this black hole. No one can help you better than yourself. There are medications physiotherapy… And a shift in your mindset that could take you out of this hole.
Other treatments:
- Change your routine
- Set goals and accomplish them. Because depression makes you feel that you don’t want to do anything.
- Eat healthy
- Fix your sleep. Force yourself to sleep early and try hard waking up early as well.
Not expressing your feelings or admitting it to anyone will make your depression worse. Communicating with others will save you a lot of time and will definitely help you gain back your energy. Don’t be silence about it thinking it will go away…. Do not sit alone. If you are not aware of the positivity of sitting(being) alone your thoughts could eat you alive… you’ll drown yourself in many assumptions that aren’t even real.
Moods are valuable. We experience joy, pleasure, sadness, anxiety, stress, … To grow. Depression happens when those feelings are broken up. You can’t tell which is which. Don’t waste another year thinking that you’re in a state that cannot be changed. Denying it will only make it stronger.
Be aware of your condition, face it and take back control of your life. You can do better when you are aware of it to seek the help you need, the treatments you need to let it be an experience for you.
I truly appreciated all the dark times that I have been through because it taught me to cling to joy, gratitude, people I love, being forgiving.. It actually taught me to cling to life.
