BTC community demands no more scientific research papers on Bitcoin
Following mass community outrage at Hasu over his recent research paper, which concluded miners actually need to be paid to be incentivised at keeping the chain secure, a petition has circulated demanding no one in the BTC space performs any more studies or research on the future security of BTC.
One such outraged BTC zealot was twitter user @hodldeeznuts69 who summarised the community’s position. “Look, we don’t mind research that concludes that BTC is perfect and never needs to change. But this Hasu moron found that having limited block size could be a problem when the block subsidy runs out. Then he had the nerve to say that we’d either need to have more transactions to pay the miners, or continue the subsidy! Can you imagine?! Inflatio…”
@hodldeeznuts69 actually passed out while trying to say the word inflation, so we didn’t get any further. Several other outraged twitter users shared their thoughts though.
One well known Bitcoiner who hasn’t actually done anything except write a bunch of blog posts, Nick Szabo, spoke with us briefly outside a Trump rally he was attending. “Listen to me, listen to me. We are NEVER going to increase the number of coins. Never. And we will NEVER increase the number of transactions you can do either. The only way we can fund mining in the future is by all paying $10,000 per transaction. I look FORWARD to paying $10,000 per transaction. It’s what everyone wants in sound money! High fees means people love it! Anyone who conducts any scientific research to test my claims should be excommunicated. I’m virtually Satoshi even though I’m not, but by saying I’m not people think I am, so you should treat my words as if they’re Satoshi’s, even though I contradict him a lot. Do you want to buy a MAGA hat? I only take paypal sorry, BTC is too painful to use.”
HASU expressed disapointment at the reception his paper recieved. “I honestly thought Bitcoiners were an intelligent bunch, and wanted to delve into important issues, so we can find ways to solve them. But I now realise it’s just a cult, and if you say the wrong thing, you’re out. Thus, I’d like to offer my sincere apologies to Lord Szabo, Luke Jr, and the anonymous Core devs who clearly have more economic understanding than myself, which they must have got from playing so much WoW. And of course the Blockstream twitter troll army. I respect them for the wisdom they clearly spew forth each day.”
The petition to excommunicate anyone who publishes another scientific paper on BTC has been presented to the board at Blockstream, and will become a formal part of the BitcoinCore code in the upcoming release which was totally developed by consensus.

