On Being Ill
Abby Norman

I am so sorry to read this. I had endometriosis forever, it seems. Heating pads help me. But not much. they found it on my lungs, all over my pelvis and in other places that made the doctors shake their heads. I was cut open so much because I had Lupus Peritonitis so I got the autoimmune disease, too. And after being sick and wondering if I truly was fir so long, I was relieved to get the diagnosis until I wasn’t and couldn’t catch my breath less than 24 hours later. I found the best doctor ever but now he’s retired. My Ob-Gyn is the only doctor who seems to care. He was with me through the lost babies and found that, like most Lupus patients: heart disease. And for the past five years I looked death in the face and was sent to Hospice. There was nothing sedating about death that close until I surrendered. I am wiser and I had been malnourished and starving something the doctors couldn’t figure out.

I am the most courageous person I know and commune with silence because people don’t like to see too much sick. It is so unAmerican not to be healthy and producing, after all.

I know you are courageous, too.

I am a long way from 25. I hate my disease. I hate what it and the endometriosis took from my life but at 61, the grace of my life is that I learned amazing things because I opened and felt and became rather than bitterly shutting down.

I am not only courageous. I am very grateful.

May you be grateful and become wise a.d be well. Sometimes healing doesn’t come in the form of a cure. I wish you both but if you do not find a cure, work to heal. You will be pleasantly surprised and wide awake.

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