I hate Callen’s parents and anyone and everyone who hurt him and caused him not to feel loved. My heart hurts reading what he said. He feels abandoned, again. And betrayed. And how is he to know about love? Who modeled that for him?
Now Callen has a chance to know love. I am sorry Trig didn’t understand what he means to Callen or overlooked that in his excitement to go to Hollywood where what he thinks will be won’t. But I think Trig now understands he is important to Callen. I think he know he is loved. Why else would Callen care?
Trig is Callen’s friend. Callen wrote that on Medium. Trig is lucky that Callen calls him a friend and looks up to him. Trig isn’t alone. And is someone special. He won’t be in Hollywood but it is his choice to go or stay.
I am glad Callen blew because that is an appropriate response to feeling abandoned, again. He is feeling and showing his feelings. He wrote on Medium that was hard for him to do. I believe him. Yet he is brave because he did it. I believe everything Callen wrote, especially that he has a friend, Trig. Having a friend can be the best thing in the world for both people.
The older boys are loved by the younger boys. Now they feel betrayed. They younger boys aren’t stupid. They know Hollywood is a pipe dream born of boredom, restlessness and wanting more. The younger boys know Hollywood won’t be something more. The younger boys know that they are real. And they know that they are enough.
They are enough so they became angry. But then Callen turned his anger inward where it doesn’t belong.
It is hard to learn how to direct our feelings appropriately, to feel them without turning them inward which is part of why feelings are scary. Mentors can help us learn not to do that when they are not in Hollywood. Callen went from righteous anger to feeling he wasn’t enough. Callen is enough.
Empathy is overdue.
Think about how you’d feel.
The impact Trig has had on Callen brought real love. Money can’t buy love. Nothing can. And love isn’t earned. It just is.
Callen may have taught his mentor and his friend something important tonight: Trig matters. And is loved.
Callen can’t kill himself. If he does he will be doing the same thing to Colette that he feels Trig has done to him. She needs more than a mentor. And she needs love. Callen’s love.
I’m sending my love. Because you asked.
I’m sending it to all the boys. They will all learn from this and learn something important and real and lasting if that is their choice. I hope it is.
I send it to Tim, too.
If you look at my profile you will read, “The wound is the place the Light enters.” which someone much smarter than I wrote a really long time ago.
Life wounds us all. Some of us get wounded harder and earlier than others but no one gets out unscathed. Life’s wounds open us so that the Light enters. There can’t be darkness where there is Light. Light heals. And isn’t scary. And Light brings love.
Because I have Light I can love you even though we have never met. Loving when you have met is even better.
I suspect each of you is wounded tonight, again. I hope all of you choose to let the Light enter the wounds that opened. The Light can heal your wounds and begin to teach you to love in ways so fulfilling you won’t need Hollywood. It takes time. And work. And may not seem as exciting as Hollywood but it is more exciting. Because you feel loved and get to give love when someone asks you to send it.
I send my love.