I get you. It doesn’t come naturally for me to let people in and to trust so that came as a hell of a blow. I guess all relationship involves risking a piece of you.
Anyway, it’s been 13 months and only now, occasionally, I will have days where I think ‘maybe I can actually do this, maybe I can be loved’. Those are pretty awesome moments and I’ve been blessed with a pretty awesome person to love. But I also still struggle and feel almost guilty when I have those moments, I feel like I need to protect myself.
I keep telling him that I’m fucked up, he says he knows and he likes it. There are some sick puppies in the world… thank God for them ;)