Update, reflection, and the path ahead
In one summer, living as a hermit in Lutsen, Minnesota- I’ve achieved the following:
- Lost over 15 pounds through desirable means. No crazy diets. No crazy workout plans. No weird pills. Instead, I chose to focus on making my mind and body happy by fueling myself with less, but healthier food. I got into vitamins, drinking tons of water and cutting things out (almost subconsciously) like soda, processed foods, fast food, etc. I went in and out of jogging, yoga, hiking, swimming, lifting, but nothing too constant. Most of the 15 pounds were just lost through diet and taking care of my body. You can’t look at it like “I need to lose X pounds”- you need to see it as becoming a healthier you.
- Cleaned my slate mentally and emotionally and refreshed my mind and heart. I deleted social media off of my phone, had minimal interaction with old friends and what not, and attempted to purge my entire life by moving 300 miles away from everything and everyone I know and living in a small, northern town with my family. I spent my days working, and self-improving. Nights were filled with books, documentaries, and the occasional 6 hour Xbox binging but hey, it happens. Through this I found out who my best friends really were, and who I really cared about in my life, and vice versa. It cured any and all of my social anxiety, and helped me figure out who I really am at heart, naturally.
- I know what I want to do with my life, and that is teach. As hinted above, I really asked myself “what makes me happy?” and “in what area of life can I change the world?” Teaching is something that gets me excited, just thinking about it. But the extension is that I want to teach at the collegiate level because then I can participate in research, write, and continue to learn myself as I help others learn at the same time. I don’t need coffee to do this kind of work, or my prescription, it naturally excites me unlike anything else. Academic work and working with younger people is what I was born to do. I truly believe that. All of my mentors and role models share the trait of being in this type of work.
Sounds like a lot, but this all slowly came together over the course of 3 months. I had ups and downs, but as of this moment in time I have a grip on my once thought uncontrollable soul. I’m happy with myself, and with those around me, and where my life seems to be going. The battle isn’t over, I’ve got another 45 pounds to lose, but at this rate I’m going to be there in no time- as long as I keep working at it.
As for the blog, I apologize for falling out. Up here I felt so disconnected, but on the other hand I stopped working for the people online- I started working for my own happiness, and lost that bit of ego-fed desire to tell people about my life every day, but that’s not what this is about anymore. As I continue to grow and fight this battle I call my life, I’ve realized that I’m simultaneously helping others approach their own problems. I had a handful of friends tell me this summer how they read and were motivated by my journey to start their own… That blew my mind.
If I can help others by revealing my weaknesses and struggles, and my path to restoration, then this blog and my story is bigger than just me, which is absolutely awesome. I’m nowhere near the finish line, the battle rages on, but hey- I’ve made some progress.