Social Media is an Illusion, so I’m Signing Off

I am quitting social media to continue my spiritual journey.

I know I was really good at social media, and a ton of people were inspired by my life and my important advice. I helped a lot of people achieve a lot of dreams. Everyone wants me to keep grinding online and keep doing my thing. I know this because the people I pay to help me with social media told me that my fans’ sadness would be as epic as my Insta. But I still have to quit.

This decision is not easy, and I want to use this space to explain things to my fried chicken fam, because I respect the important connection we’ve made over the last two weeks.

A little while ago I started beginning to realize sometimes photos aren’t always true. Like, because you can only see what’s in the picture at the moment it was taken, sometimes they can look like something was happening, but it wasn’t actually happening. I don’t know if you were aware, but that’s how photos can sometimes work. I’m sure this is blowing your minds. Even though I blow minds a lot, I guess I’m sorry cause this is just the truest truth I’ve ever said, how photography works at one of its most basic levels.

But when I logically follow that thought, I begin to think that social media isn’t real. Well, I mean, of course it’s real. How is it not real? It exists on the internet, and our phones, and we all participate in it, it’s as real as anything else. I guess what I mean is, like, sometimes people pretend to be something on social media, but they aren’t really like that in life. It’s like the photos, sometimes you can make it look like something was happening, but it wasn’t actually happening. I know it’s a hard and shocking lesson, but that’s what I’m here for.

Also, if I take this even further, to be totally honest, sometimes I think everything we perceive is a simulation. Like, I’m just a digital construct designed to sell fried chicken, inspire people, and gently poke fun at specific aspects of online culture. Is our entire reality just part of a super-advanced civilization’s computer simulation? Or a very dumb civilization’s simulation? Sometimes I think so. But that’s probably too deep. I probably shouldn’t buy into simulation theory. Even though I sometimes think I’m just a simulation.

But maybe that’s too much. I can’t prove anything about simulations and reality. What I can prove is that I realized photos and social media can be illusions. Made up characters in a made-up farce. (Shout out to the intern who told me what farce was. You the best, Dorothy.)

I realized I can’t have these illusions in my life if I’m going to continue my spiritual awakening. And after I made these crazy discoveries about photography and social media, I thought what else is out there? I just gotta know. It made me think I need to go on a spiritual journey for answers.

And if there’s one thing you know about me, Colonel Sanders, it’s that I am a spiritual person who is always looking for answers.

So, what’s next for Colonel Sanders?

To continue my spiritual journey, I need to visit some really spiritual places. I really gotta be present in my amazing rooms in beautiful locations. I can’t be distracted by illusions, or inspiring millions on Instagram. Colonel Sanders has to focus on getting spiritually aligned with Colonel Sanders, nature, the earth, and the universe, and I can’t be participating in illusions if I’m gonna do that.

Also, I can only find the answers I seek by making a huge show of quitting social media to tell you about my spiritual journey.

I will leave you with this: always be trying to improve spiritually, and keep eating fried chicken. Fried chicken is never an illusion. I checked with spiritual advisors of all kinds, — it’s one thing they all totally agreed on, every spiritual advisor I called, or emailed, was like “yep, unlike so many things that are illusions, fried chicken is not an illusion. You can tell when you bite into the crunchy juicy chicken.” If there’s one piece advice you take from me, I hope it is this: keep spiritually journeying, learn to see that so many things are illusions, but keep eating fried chicken, because it is not an illusion. That’s my final and most important part of my #secretrecipeforsuccess