Valentines Day

Yesterday was an odd combination. By far it was both my best and worst Valentine’s Day ever. I got to work from home and the work part sucked but the Valentine’s part of my day couldn’t have been better.

My whole life days could be divided pretty evenly, you could have a bad day at work, but a good day at home or vice versa, or a bad day at both. No matter the case though, it was separated by buildings and a drive home.

Yesterday I got the best gift I could have possibly been given, thoughtful, useful, I really think it could change things for the better. I know it sounds lame but she got me a keyboard for my tablet. If you haven’t read my previous posts, I often grouse about how I want to write both blogs and fiction but never feel like plopping down in front of my laptop, especially when I just spent nine hours in front of it in my own bedroom doing work.

Well now I can write anywhere, and I’ve never had qualms with using my tablet once I get home. In fact sometimes I even feel guilty for playing all the stupid apps on it. Now I can write pretty much anywhere. It’s Bluetooth and I have a love/hate relationship with Bluetooth, but I’m still super stoked.

We also went to lunch together and although they didn’t have the dessert that was the whole reason we went there it was so nice to just have a lunch with her and I.

Then in the evening we scored a sitter and went to Wendy’s (cuz we’re romantic like that) and then bowling and had a blast. We even had a little extra time, drove around the lake and went to a hobby store when it was almost completely empty.

We had so much fun, and now, (and even during the fun) I started to hate myself for ever even entertaining the idea of leaving her, wishing I had someone else and even more recent events.

Also in between all those times I had to go back to my desk, just feet from where we exchanged gifts and get totally devastated, bent over, ‘please god kill me now’ work.

Driving to work today felt like the day after Christmas as a kid. Sure you may have got lots of cool toys but the build up, the anticipation is over, back to real life and all the stress and self hatred it brings. In my case the useless feeling I have at work.

In between continuing to migrate from my old blog to Medium I’ve gotten in touch with someone I met on the trip and project I was so worried about in previous posts. I hold a candle in my heart for her. I doubt she feels the same way about me, which in the grand scheme of things is a good thing. But I felt guilty about that after yesterday.

In the lane next to us while bowling was a total M.I.L.F. a ten with her appropriately handsome husband and gaggle of school age boys. I noticed her, she was attractive, I also noticed the high school girls in the lane next to us too. (Yes I’m a creep, hate me if you want) and then in our lane, wearing her second pair of hosiery in the same day was my wife, having a blast bowling on Valentine’s day with me. Wearing gothy make up she knew would get her dirty looks, strange looks, whatever looks……she was in MY lane. I think I finally noticed the important difference between the hottest woman in the room and the right woman in the room for me.

Not saying the very next blog I won’t be up to my old tricks, but my non-work Valentine’s day shifted my perspective to where it should be, at least for a day.