Things That Have Happened Since Frank Ocean Last Released An Album

Frank Ocean, where is thy album? One of music’s great mysterious in recent times centres around the whereabouts or existence of Frank Ocean’s second major label release. The follow-up to Channel Orange has been rumoured for some time, with Ocean going as far as to announce a title (Boy’s Don’t Cry) and release date (July 2015). Alas, no record arrived and, as yet, it has still not dropped.

Earlier in the week, clips surfaced from an apparent listening party that Ocean hosted in New York featuring what appeared to be new music. The snippets were subsequently removed and no more information has emerged. Ocean’s sophomore album is growing in mythology, like the Loch Ness monster or Van Gogh slicing his own ear off. Is it actually a real thing?

As we wait in heady anticipation, it feels appropriate to reminisce over a good number of things that have happened since Frank Ocean released an album. There’s been a fucking lot going on.

Things that have happened since Frank Ocean released an album:

-The Olympic Games were hosted in London.

-Felix Baumgartner broke the sound barrier.

-Barack Obama was re-elected President of the United States.

-Pope Benedict stepped down from his papacy and was replaced by Pope Francis.

-Edward Snowden leaked classified information regarding NSA phone hacking and surveillance.

-Ebola broke out.

-Germany won the World Cup.

-Crimea was annexed by Russia.

-Lionel Messi has scored 200 goals for Barcelona.

-Breaking Bad ended.

-Twitter became a publicly traded company.

-True Detective season one was the greatest series in tv history.

-True Detective season two was the worst series in tv history.

-David Bowie released two albums and passed away.

-One Direction were shorn of a member and can’t even bear to be in the same room as each other.

-Drake developed an obsession with grime.

-Steph Curry scored three pointers at the rate most eat food.

-The movie box office figures Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson has smashed fractionally outstripped the gains he has made in the gym in that period.

-Kanye West designed sneakers.

-Billy Graham is still alive.

-The Tories won another election.

-Donald Trump accepted the Republican presidential nomination.

-Leonardo Di Caprio won an Oscar.

-Britain voted to leave the EU.

-Portugal won Euro 2016.

-Netflix show Stranger Things took the world by storm.

-Turkey’s government fought off a military coup.

-The 2016 Olympics got underway in Rio.

-Frank Ocean announced that ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ would be released in July 2015.

-Frank Ocean announced that ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ would be released on August 5th 2016.

It’s now August 5th, and you guessed it, it still hasn’t dropped. Feel free to add any other significant events to the list. It might stretch even longer if Frank continues to prolong the agony.