The Undeserved Protection of the Internet-born Funny Man
When you’re involved with fandoms and online communities for the first time, it’s exciting. You get that warm, fuzzy feeling in your gut everytime you catch up on the latest news or videos. You start following social medias, and you start getting to glimpse a part of people’s lives that aren’t seen on camera. You feel like they’re your friends.
If you’ve been a part of an online community, any online community, you already know what I’m talking about. This phenomena tends to be the most prominent in online gaming communities, mostly tied to Internet-born Funny Men.
An Internet-born Funny Man, from this point forward is now condensed to IBFM, is a term I’m making up right now, but is one I think can help define a portion of the internet where a lot of these kinds of communities tend to crop up. An IBFM is generally a cis-male who finds a career in being funny on the Internet, and it takes many forms, but is usually tied to video games in some aspect who rose up from being a regular person and now has a sizable following on multiple social medias. They are a person with power and influence over tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people.
None of them started in the industry, they helped create the industry itself and started out just like every other gamer who wanted to make money playing games; in their rooms, hiding Game Boys under their blankets, playing old Nintendo games, the same ones we all played as kids. They’re relatable, funny, and grew from nothing. There’s one other thing, though, that connects all of them in a way that is very alarming. The visceral, angered protection their fans have when they do something wrong.
Gaming has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Some of my earliest memories have been of playing Tekken 2 on my PS1 with my dad, and my radio show in college dedicated a huge chunk of its runtime talking about every form of gaming. However, my first real community experience started back in early 2011 with companies like Rooster Teeth and Machinima, 4PlayerPodcast, and the occasional solo gamer who uploaded funny videos.
Let’s Players were still looked at like small beans in the entertainment industry. There were discussions about whether or not gaming journalism counted as real journalism. Everything that’s popular now was on the rise. I made a lot of friends; friends from around the world that I would never have known about if it wasn’t for these funny men on the Internet. They became everything to me. It’s how I fought my depression and escaped the harsh world around me. These funny guys made me smile. So, they had my trust.
I started following them on YouTube, Tumblr, Twitter, anything that let me stay in contact with my friends and continuously keep the people that helped me get through the hardest years of my life on my mind. Everything was great. I was finally happy. Then, it happened. The personality that these IBFM created for people just like me cracked under the weight of a fallout; claims of sexual harassment. I’m ashamed to admit I was initially on the wrong side.
I thought I was being a loyal fan. I wasn’t going to believe these obvious lies! Never! Surely, the funny man on screen who has access to editing tools and never would have a one on one conversation with me would never do anything like sexually harass women, request nudes from minors, seriously use offensive words, or anything bad! That’s a terrible thing, and he would never do a terrible thing! It’s so much easier to blame someone I never met than look at someone who I thought I knew and hold them accountable for their actions.
I turned a blind eye. I ignored it. It wasn’t true. I could go back to watching the funny man on YouTube. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true.
I was wrong.
It was all true.
It was a hard pill to swallow. It wasn’t until I was in my later teens that I realized all the things that I said I hated, that I said I would fight, I was directly complicit in by defending these men. I had to take a step back and really think about what I was doing.
All I was doing in the end was making it harder for women who were manipulated by men with power and influence over their lives and/or careers to find peace and justice.
I’m not the only one who’s done this, either. There are thousands upon millions of people who will jump to the defense of someone accused of sexual harassment and manipulation, claiming some of the most outrageous things: He didn’t realize his influence! He didn’t mean it! It was just flirting! It was consensual! They could have blocked him and said no! Here’s another terrible excuse! And another!
Ignorance to his own influence is not an answer. Ignorance is terrible excuse to gain sympathy because, oh! He just didn’t know! He’ll do better next time!
Flirting? A word that’s been twisted to cover sexual harassment and make women feel like they’re the ones who aren’t reacting appropriately.
And the consent thing? Never in my life has a man ever hit on me, said unwarranted, sexual things to me, and I feel safe enough to tell him no.
Women have lost their jobs by telling men no.
Women have died by telling men no.
Most women dread the day they ever have to face a situation like this because we could very well lose everything by doing the thing that everyone tells us to do. So? We just play along until it stops.
These men do not need your protection. They do not deserve your loyalty, your love, your respect, or anything that gives them strength and power. Don’t do what I did. Don’t be compliant. Compliance is just as dangerous and harmful as performing the act itself. Ignorance is not bliss; it’s turning a blind eye to the people who do need your support and protection.
But Chelsea, you ask, how do we know who does these things if they only show us what they want us to see?
A very good question! Unfortunately, the answer is not. The simple truth of the matter is that you can’t know. The only way things like harassment and manipulation can be seen or have any sort of attention is by listening to those who have seen their true colors. That also means you have to watch your media critically. You have to go into everything and understand there is more to this person than this carefully crafted persona that is getting them money.
I won’t lie. It’s hard. I even forget to do it myself, and I get too comfortable. Then, people like the recently let-go Nick Robinson of Polygon sneak through a barrier that I thought was strong.
Robinson caught me off-guard, admittedly. I’m happy to know that Polygon did the right thing in letting him go, but I was still angry and upset. However, I wasn’t the person who deserved to be angry. I wasn’t the person who was manipulated by a powerful voice in what’s considered a very progressive platform for this kind of community. There was something else I needed to do.
What I needed to do was fight for the women who were brave enough to stand up for themselves and bring light to a serious issue. I needed to reaffirm that these women do not need to relive months of interactions that left them afraid to speak out by posting receipts for strangers on the internet. I needed to remind people that no matter what they think of any pisspoor apology is released, it’s no one’s to accept but the women these men affected. I needed to help people understand that any IBFM could be another Nick Robinson or any other man in this community that’s had women step forward with experiences like this.
This is a kind of behavior that is rampant all over the entertainment industry, but in gaming communities, it’s commonplace. It’s embarrassing, disgusting, and infuriating. I refuse to complacent. I’m going to do my part in making sure that I do everything I can to make a change. Maybe I can’t change the world with a few thinkpieces, but I sure as hell can bring awareness to a very serious problem to a community that is so near and dear to my heart.
Don’t be compliant.
Don’t be silent.
Fight for those who truly deserve it.
