Imposter Syndrome & Self Doubt: It’s all a Fugazy
I hope you’re keeping up with my series, where I talk about what I’m learning while job hunting and figuring out my passion. Today, I want to share my second lesson from a recent Instagram post.
I’ll keep it short but detailed. After writing about my first lesson, I felt terrific. I even woke up feeling happier. Is it too soon to say that writing, instead of therapy, is helping me?
Imposter Syndrome & Self Doubt: Friends or Foes?
So, the next thing I’ve learned is that feeling like you’re not good enough and doubting yourself are like your not-so-friendly friends, always hanging around. You have to learn to ignore them, like how you ignore advice to stay away from bad relationships.
Ha! I’ve tried doing what I talked about there. But that’s a story for another time. Don’t worry; I keep track of all the stories I promise to tell later. But let’s get back on track.
When I say that feeling like a fraud and doubting yourself are your ‘frenemies,’ I mean they can either push you to do what you need to achieve your goals or drag you down and keep you stuck. It’s up to you.
I’ll explain how you can make them work for you instead of against you, something I’ve tried myself.
Scared of Doing Well?
You’ve probably heard of ‘fake it till you make it,’ suitable? Well, I use that to think that feeling like a fraud or doubting my abilities means I’m actually good. Yep! I tell myself I’m terrific and I belong where I want to be, or I can learn what I need to.
Looking at it this way helps me. It’s like I’m just feeling unsure because I’m scared of doing well. Yes! I have concluded that imposter syndrome and self-doubt are fear in disguise.
In the past, when I did well at things, it stressed me out because I had to figure out how to keep doing well. Doubting myself is really just being scared of success because it means I have to work harder, and that might be tough.
Now, I’m not lazy. My fear goes back to when I was 16 and had a breakdown because I felt too much pressure to do well in school. I did do well, but something snapped in me after that, and I got scared I couldn’t handle being successful.
Facing Fear
But now, I’m almost 30, and I’ve decided I’m over it. If pressure kills me, at least I’ll know I didn’t let doubt stop me from going after what I wanted.
As a job seeker dealing with these fears, I know I’m good at some things. But the thought of really diving into a career makes me nervous because I know I get hyper-focused when I have a goal. I get tunnel vision, even when I doubt myself. And I get scared that it’ll consume me.
I still sometimes wonder if I’m as good as I think I am or if I’m just fooling myself. I’m okay with asking for help or learning more to get better. So, in the end, doubting myself about whether I’m good enough isn’t valid. You have to do what you have to do, even if you’re scared.
That’s it for this rant. I got a bit personal, but I have a good feeling about it.
